When I used to live in the orphanage, a volunteer worker visited every now and then, and after theyâd stroked my head one time, I wasnât able to sleep at night. Iâd try to replay the feeling of their fingers on my head by patting my head with my hands, heart thumping with excitement.
When will they come again? When will they come and pat my head again?
At the sound of cars I would run out and wait, to no avail. Even after multiple times of this same occurrence, I didnât know when to stop.
But I knew to stop when I met that person again.
ăOh my, Iâve never seen a girl this friendly upon our first meeting. How wonderful. ă
ă⌠ă
This isnât the first time though.
You praised me for being a good child!
My heart didnât pound from having my hair patted like the first time. It didnât get warm, nor did it throb.
It was only then that I realized that I was just like any sort of random pitiful child to this person, and my already cold world became colder.
ăYou wouldnât understand even if I explained to you, Selene. Because your parents are here.ă
ăYour Ladyship.ă
ăIâll only confuse her by being nice to her for a few days. I canât be the only one in a comfortable position.ă
ăBut Your Ladyship isnât just being casually nice to her, you really mean it.ă
ăâŚHmph.ă
Iâm telling you, she only catches on quickly at times like this.
I lowered my head as if I hadnât heard her.
The children only rested for a few minutes before the lessons started again.
ăUgh. That old womanâs at it again.ă
I covered my mouth trying to stop my tears that felt like they had been waiting to come out. At the thought that one day Haniel would wake up to the cold reality of the world like I did, I felt like I was suffocating.
ăSee that! Sheâs only like that to Haniel! She leaves the other kids alone and just goes after my Haniel!ă
ăâŚYour Ladyship, thatâs because Hanielâs the only one who isnât able to follow the instructions. ă
ăErgh. Shut your beak.ă
You think this is her fault, that she canât follow instructions because she doesnât want to? Thereâs always a last place if thereâs a first place!
But at times like these, I thought that it was fortunate Haniel didnât have a mother present. To have to hear the painful words of someone else scolding their own child for not doing something well enough would make anyoneâs heart pound like it would pop out of their chest.
ăHeup. But what are they doing? What did she teach them for them to be like that?ă
ăAh ah, sheâs taught them to act like that if they get wounded and form a bruise.ă
At the tears that started to fill my eyes once more, Selene continued to explain as if trying to appease me.
The children all gathered in one place, with their heads back and tongues out. And naturally, my Haniel wasnât able to even follow that and only blinked her eyes.
ăWhew. That is such a useful lesson, but it seems that whether sheâs really trying or not, Haniel just canât stay focused.ă
ă⌠ă
Come again, you birdbrain?
As I glowered at her, Selene instinctively lowered her head.
At this rate, Haniel would end up labeled as a failure of a student, so I tried to wrap up the facts as much as I could.
ăItâs because sheâs still young. Sheâs a newborn baby. When she learns to understand peopleâs words, Lady Melloe will probably say she doesnât need to take lessons at her academy.ă
ăYes, yes. Of course. As if sheâs someoneâs child. ă
ăâŚSheâs different from us.ă
I didnât have any more energy to scold Selene. It was already heartbreaking peeping at Haniel through the bushes.
ăIâm telling you, she already has many family members to teach her. So rather than staying at a place like this, for sureâŚă
It would be better for her to return.
This was actually the reason that pricked my heart the most.
Even if Hanielâs brother was a tyrant, what better people than her own blood-related family members to take care of her.
I couldnât help but stress the importance of family, perhaps since Iâd never had one.
ăâŚOf course. ă
That was obvious. Whatâs more important than family, right?
I quickly turned my head before my heart would soften at Hanielâs trembling appearance.
If I kept being like this, I wouldnât be able to let Haniel go. Before that happened, I shifted my attention and called Selene over as I thought of the next step in my plan.
ăWhatâs the emperorâs usual schedule for when he stays at the Winter Palace?ă
ăUhmâŚUsually the highest noble families of the region are to hold a welcome party for the emperor. Because one can only visit the Palaces of the regions upon invitation from the emperor or empress.ă
ăThen does that mean the dukeâs household usually host such an event?ă
ăOf course. Since the House of the Duke of Evendell has the highest standing in the North. ă
Despite being a worker in the household, I could hear the pride in her voice as she spoke of the dukeâs family.
She fluffed up her feathers.
ăWe prepared so much food for the previous celebrations. We even decorated the halls with ice sculptures and covered the floors with golden silk. Everyone admired the ice flowers and jewelry.ă
ăReally? Then when will a celebration happen again?ă
ăIâm not very sure. Since all the nobles of the Northern Lands will need to first be invited to the welcome partyâŚWh-what is it. No wayâŚdo you actually want to attend it?ă
ăWhat do you mean, âNo way.âă
ăYour Ladyship! You canât! You will only face humiliation if you go. You will be in front of many people and even the Emperor will be there!ă
ăAll the more reason to go.ă
ăAhâŚă
She was reacting like this because she didnât know the situation properly, but Selene was utterly terrified.
She tried to express her worries while licking at the wound sheâd gotten last night.
ăStill, you canât. Do you not remember what Lady Rania said to you? She told you not to show your face and to not leave the estate for the moment, saying that she absolutely wouldnât allow any of that.ă
ăHow funny.ă
I wasnât making fun of Rania, I actually meant what I said.
I shrugged my shoulders and turned towards the brightly-lit palace across the lake.
ăThen did she curse me with my permission?ă
â â â
âPlease forgive us, Your Majesty. Because there was no time to prepare properly for Your Excellenciesâ arrival, many things are now lacking.â
âItâs fine.â
The manager of the Winter Palace trembled like an aspen tree.
With the emperor suddenly arriving with the two princes at the Palace in the middle of the night, it was impossible to figure out their motives.
âU-uh, though Iâm not sure what is Your Majestyâs purpose-â
âDo I have to get permission to come to my own house?â
ââŚNo. Not at all, Your Majesty.â
As one of Rashidâs eyes began to narrow, the manager prostrated his body to the ground. It seemed as though daggers would fall on his head should he dare lift it.
But the Emperorâs intentions really couldnât be fathomed at this point.
âThe late Empress often spoke of the beauty of this place.â
ââŚâ
Peyton, who had been watching the manâs fidgeting body, spoke up.
Though the chances of finding their sister here were slim, they had to put to rest any suspicions to lessen the risk of useless news of Hanielâs disappearance spreading.
âThe Emperor has taken some time to himself for the first time since his ascension to the throne. We are just here to quietly take a look, so watch your behavior.â
âAhh I see. I will quickly prepare the bedrooms and studies for your use.â
With an âoh, I get itâ expression, the manager straightened.
The Winter Palace was the late Empressâs favorite place, so it made sense if her sons wanted to follow her footsteps in her memory.
It seemed as though the rumors that they were only cold-blooded were wrong.
A warm expression spread across the manâs face for the first time.
âThen would Your Excellencies first like a tour around the estate? The late Empress particularly enjoyed the beauty of the Palladium lake. There are many places to go and many rare animals to see-â
âDo you think I came here to see some animals!â
ââŚT-then what would Your Majesty like to seeâŚâ
âThatâŚâ
At the emperorâs anger, the manager hurriedly swallowed his words. But with effort, the irritated Rashid slowly shut his mouth.
The lines on his frustrated face softened, leaving a hint of confusion.
ââŚEnough about that. Did you announce my arrival?â
âYes, I have. There was a commotion as soon as the three lit up pillars were spotted.â
âSo?â
âAccording to standard practice, Iâve invited Duchess Evendell for your arrival first. The late Empress was first welcomed by the Duchess in a welcome party.â
ââŚThe Duchess.â
âYes. But since Your Honorable Highness wanted to rest quietly, I will turn her away. Even though having the Duchess be host is the custom, Iâm sure she will understand since she doesnât have the Duke to ask nor does she have an empress to serve. I will inform Lady Rania inste-â
âWhat, no. Who told you to do that.â
Rashid, who had been holding his head, suddenly stretched out his hand, and the manager began to tremble, his throat dry.
At seeing the look on the princesâ faces, the manager caught on quickly and hastily brought out a letter.
âH-here it is, Your Excellency.â
ââŚThis is.â
âYes. This is the Duke Householdâs crest. Though it is the symbol of the North, rumor has it that the Dukeâs Household wishes to change it on the reason of it being too ominous of a sign.â
Rashid eyed the seal on top of the elegant envelope. His sharp eyes made out two black swan feathers inlaid on top of crystals.
As he smoothly tore open the wax with his thumb, Rashidâs red lips turned upwards into a smile.