-san: A polite suffix, but not excessively formal.
-kun: A common suffix among friends and younger people.
-chan: A common suffix among people youāre close with, mostly used for feminine nicknames and girls, since itās cutesy and childlike.
-senpai: A common suffix and noun used to address or refer to oneās older or more senior colleagues in a school, workplace, dojo, or sports club.
IMPORTANT T/N
Iāve mistakenly translated this chapter as Chapter 9!
Go read the chapter before this one for the actual Chapter 9!
Sorry for the inconvenience!
Iāve been thinking for quite a while that maybe, just maybe Iām not good with guys. Donāt get me wrong though, itās not for a special reason or anything like that. Itās just that Iāve always attended all-girls schools and never had the chance to interact with boysāThose were my thoughts back then.
As a high schooler, I decided to start working part-time. I mean, buying goods from my favorite anime and games costs quite a bit of money. At first, I started working at a convenience store, but there was no end of people holding my hand when I gave them change and even some who left their contact info.
The fact I had a hard time saying no just added fuel to the fire. Their behavior gradually escalated until I was finally being stalked. Fortunately, the police took immediate action so the situation never got out of hand, but by that time I had a dislike for the opposite sex.
Due to what happened, I was too scared to work at that convenience store any longer. Thatās when I turned my attention to maid cafes. I thought that if I became one I could work even if I wasnāt good at it. Certain words and actions that crossed a line were prohibited by staff, and one secret dream of mine was to wear a maid uniform. I immediately went for an interview and passed with flying colors. Iām currently one of the maids.
His words were, āAs long as Iām paying, I donāt have to worry about being betrayed.ā I wasnāt sure what he meant by that specifically, but we got along quickly with our shared interests in anime and games. After that day, he started coming every week, and talking to him became one of my pleasures.
I still remember one time I made a mistake and felt disheartened. He encouraged me with nice words, and itās due to his support that I can still work here to this day. I donāt think he realizes it himself, but sometimes he turns off and looks heartbroken. Whenever he made that face, I felt distraught for not being able to do anything for him, and I really wished I could.
Then one time, a customer insisted I cuss him out. I didnāt know what was fun about being cursed by others, but since it was his request I decided to give it a try, and the person was very pleased. I donāt know how word got around, but a flood of the same requests rushed in. One of my seniors at work told me it was easy to become popular as long as you create a character that suited you. I wondered if thatās what she meant.
If I did something that made him happy, his wistful face would finally light up. Back then, I felt the character I created and myself start to overlap but ultimately decided not to care since everyone was happy with it.
But day after day, the sorrow on Yutaās eyes only grew. I wanted to save him as he saved me with his constant support. Even though I tried to take his pain away with my words, heād only return a frail smile. Sometimes Iād get so angry with myself for being such an unworthy person, that Iād turn cold. I could have said āI want to spend more time with you,ā but those words would only get stuck in my throat.
Why did you look at me like that?
Why wonāt you look at me?
I guess Iām not trying hard enoughā¦
I looked it up on my phone and it said I should be nicer to guys, and insulting them was the opposite of what I should do. I agreed, but every single guy that came to the store asked for the exact opposite. āShould I take real peopleās opinions, or the phoneās?ā I asked myself.
One day I decided to change the flavor of my language.
Iāve studied some radical anime and constantly heard words such as āslaveā and āincompetentā, which are apparently very popular nowadays. I truly donāt feel comfortable using such terms with someone I liked, but Iām sure heāll be pleased with it today. Iāve practiced well after all.
However, he didnāt return even his usual frail smile at my full-throated abuse. Instead, he looked like he was freed from a shackle of some sort.Ā Why doesnāt he smile?Ā Anxiety filled my chest at his momentary silence, so I kept going with āHey, are you listening? You deaf or something?ā
āStop being loud, a*shole.ā
I couldnāt believe my ears. Why was I being abused back, the opposite of what usually happened? More importantly, I never thought being on the receiving end of such harsh words was so hard to bear. Despite that, every single other guy that did seemed elated, so what I did must not have been wrong!
āIām not fun to talk to? Thatās becauseĀ youĀ donāt try to make the conversation interesting! Iām pretty sure youāre around my age, and Iām guessing your IQ is around room temperature. Actually, if youāre that bored talking to me, donāt worry. I wonāt be coming back here. Thanks for everything, bye-bye.ā
He didnāt stop. I never once thought our conversations to be boring, and in fact, I looked forward to talking with him.
Why is Yuta angry?
Why do you say you wonāt come here anymore?
I couldnāt grasp my head around the situation at all, and I couldnāt stop my lips from quivering. Maybe heĀ didnātĀ like being called a slave, and regret washed over me as I thought over the things he really wanted me to say. I tried desperately to stop him and apologize, but my voice never reached him. He left the store to never return.
That night, as I lay in bed, I thought back to what happened.
Whatās wrong with me?
What did I do wrong?
No matter how much I mulled over it, I could never find the answer. After some time I gave up and decided to just sleep. Maybe this was all a horrible dream, and tomorrow heāll show up as usual. He said he was on vacation, so I could see him anytime now.
But what awaited me, such a naive girl, was a nightmarish day.