When Wu Du returns, he finds Duan Ling sitting back on his heels in front of the low table, taking all of the powder at once and throwing the pills into his mouth, swallowing everything down with the cold tea on the table.
âHey!â In a panic, Wu Du charges into the room, shouting loudly. All the poison in the packet has been cleaned out by Duan Ling; Wu Du immediately seals off Duan Lingâs meridian points, gets down on one knee, and turns Duan Ling face down. He rests Duan Lingâs stomach over his upturned knee, and with his hand over Duan Lingâs back he moves his internal force into his hands and slams it down Duan Lingâs body.
With a cry Duan Lingâs mouth opens and he vomits up all the powder alongside the dinner he ate earlier. Wu Du forces energy through him three times in succession and Duan Ling throws up again and again. Wu Du slaps him hard in the face and snarls, âWhat are you doing?!â
He leaves Duan Ling for the moment and turns around to search for medicine that he can wash out Duan Lingâs stomach with, but meanwhile Duan Ling is groping around on the floor, going through the filth for the pills. As soon as he grabs one he puts it back into his mouth.
Wu Du has managed to find half of what he needs when he turns back to look and realises what Duan Ling is doing. Immediately, he rushes back at him like a gale, and the moment he picks him up by the collar, he gives Duan Ling one slap in the face after another, hitting him at least ten times in a row until Duan Ling is seeing stars, fainting dead away.
Duan Ling collapses on the floor next to the table. Wu Du manages to find medication for purging his stomach with, and dissolving it in a cup of tea he puts Duan Ling on his back and forces it down through his nose with a reed pipe.
It doesnât take long before Duan Ling feels a great storm surging through his insides and heâs throwing up violently all over again. Wu Du drags him out of the house and tosses him into the courtyard where he lies on his side on the ground, twitching. Thereâs a lot that Wu Du is mad about, and this is just the last straw; heâs so angry he doesnât even know where to start. He picks up the boiling kettle, tosses it at Duan Ling, and the hot water splashes all over him. The water burns his neck and his shoulder, but Duan Ling doesnât move at all; his seemingly lifeless eyes are wide open, staring right at where Wu Du stands in the doorway.
There is nothing but despair in that gaze. Wu Du has no idea what can be wrong. He takes a step towards him and gives Duan Ling a kick. âWhat are you thinking about?â
He grabs Duan Lingâs collar and picks him up a little, snaps his fingers in front of his face, and Duan Ling remains perfectly still â his eyes just stare blankly in front of him. Impatient, Wu Du slaps him again. In the wake of the crisp, clear sound, Duan Ling hasnât reacted at all.
His eyes are open wide and tears are slowly rolling out of them; his watery pupils reflect Wu Duâs features.
Unable to make sense of whatâs going on, Wu Du puts him down and decides to let him be, heading back inside to clean up. He sweeps away the vomit on the floor and the undigested, regurgitated meat that Duan Ling wolfed down earlier. Clearly, he was so hungry at night that he ate too fast.
Wu Du looks at Duan Ling again. Duan Ling remains perfectly still on his side in the courtyard, as if heâs dead.
With a frown, Wu Du abandons the broom and gets down on the ground, inclining his head as well, so he can look at him. He notices that thereâs quite a bit of water on the ground; tears are flowing out of the corner of Duan Lingâs eyes in a perpetual trickle, dripping onto the ground in the courtyard, pooling into a tiny little puddle to reflect the Silver River above like a tiny little corner of the world.
âWhat on earthâs the matter with you? Hey!â
Slowly, Duan Ling closes his eyes. Wu Du doesnât know why heâs acting like that, and he leaves again to clean up some more. As he cleans and cleans he comes to a realisation â
Perhaps this young man was trying to kill himself in the first place, and the only thing that was stopping him was that he wasnât able to find a good way to go. Judging by the way he looks now, maybe his father died, and after he took the poison he jumped into the river â then the boy was saved by him. He regained the will to live at first, but when he heard about that poison tonight something must have triggered him and roused the idea of suicide.
âHey.â
After Wu Du finishes cleaning up, he comes out of the house and crouches over the threshold. His elbows are resting over his knees and his sleeves are rolled up as he considers Duan Ling, lying in the courtyard. âLet me ask you something â were you not telling me the truth? You were the one who actually took the poison and jumped into the river yourself.â
Duan Ling doesnât make a single sound; heâs already lost all awareness of this world, and his mind is entirely blank, his consciousness hovering in the time when he was still with his father, as though heâs built up a wall to keep everything happening in the outside world, outside.
Xichuanâs affluent streets go on for miles, with jade-green rivers winding around like ribbons. Cloud-topped Mount Yucheng is perpetually surrounded by a coiling mist, and extravagant, decadent Jiangzhou never sleeps ⌠With the sky as a coverlet and the ground as a bed âŚ
When spring comes, peach blossoms are just everywhere. Thereâs the ocean too; the ocean goes on forever âŚ
I can give you whatever you want on earth.
Everyone has something that they must accomplish in their lives ⌠Some are born to fight in wars, some are born to be the emperor âŚ
Dad owes you. No one is going to take your place ever.
Life is bitterly short. If you live in this world then you have no choice but to face a lot of horrifying and cruel things.
Youâve grown.
You say one more thing and Iâm not leaving anymore. I never wanted to leave in the first place.
My son.
âDid your dad die?â In an instant Wu Duâs voice strikes the wall and brings it all down, causing Duan Lingâs consciousness to come back bit by bit.
âYour dad must want you to survive. Did you actually see him die?â
Duan Lingâs pupils gradually come back into focus. Before his eyes, Wu Du is sitting on the threshold, his tall figure lean and his shoulders wide like a hunting hound. Hazily, he looks a bit like Li Jianhong, smiling and speaking to him.
âDid you think dad isnât around anymore?â
Li Jianhong is gazing at him ever so gently. âMy son, Iâve been with you all this time.â
A lot of ideas that have nothing to do with each other rush into Duan Lingâs head; perhaps itâs a coincidence, or perhaps it is the will of the heavens that makes it so â somehow it is only now that he receives the news of his fatherâs demise.
This chapter is scrapped from readlightnovel.org
This news has come too suddenly; it has crushed him in an instant.
But this news has also come at just the right time; it didnât make him die beneath the cliffs of the Xianbei Mountains, in the blizzard of Luoyang, submerged in the rushing turbulence of the Min River. Instead, it is in front of such a stranger, on such a moonlit night, that heâs learned of this truth.
Rather than dying, heâs been saved by Wu Du.
Erenow the thought of reuniting with his father has supported him off and on, until heâs made his way to this man.
Imperceptibly, but inexorably, Li Jianhongâs gallant soul seems to be doing his utmost to help his most beloved son survive in the mortal world.
Even if he should wander destitute, even if everyone he holds dear has left him ⌠Li Jianhong doesnât want Duan Ling to know all of this. Hence the heavens are still looking after the Li familyâs Great Chen; in the end he has stepped onto the road home, and heâs successfully come home.
Every time he has dreamt about Li Jinahong, someone would come to him seemingly carrying with them a certain kind of destiny and the mandate of heaven. His figure once again disappears, leaving behind a confused looking Wu Du. Duan Lingâs consciousness gradually returns.
âThink it over.â Wu Du says, finally, âEveryone has to die sooner or later. Better to be a live dog than a dead lion.â2
Wu Du gets to his feet and goes back inside, closing the door behind him. He puts out the light.
Beneath the moon, Duan Ling is lying there alone; itâs not until now that his nose gives a little sniffle and tears gush forth as though a dam has broken. He has never felt so helpless before, nor so sad; he scrambles back inside and covers his face with the robe that heâs been using to cushion the floor, then burying his face in his knees, he begins to weep.
He can still remember that time when his father took him to school and stood outside the window watching him, how he couldnât bear to leave. Duan Ling was the one who rushed him off himself, lest his schoolmates make fun or gossip.
The night before he left for his campaign, when they parted for the very last time, his father even said to him, âTell me you donât hate me. Tell me youâve forgiven me.â
Back then, Duan Ling did not tell him so, and wanted to strike palms and swear a vow with him. But in truth how could he ever hate him? Ever since he was very young he was already anticipating his fatherâs arrival. He also stubbornly believed that one day he would come, and that theyâd be together through thick and thin. The same way that Li Jianhong had forded rivers and crossed mountains to find him no matter how arduous the journey, Duan Ling was always waiting for his father no matter how late he may be. Yet Li Jianhong only stayed at his side for such a short period of time; without even saying goodbye, heâs left him so quickly, and so soon.
Life is bitterly short â he has finally managed to understand those four words.
The door is suddenly opened, and Wu Du holds up a lantern, shining its light onto Duan Lingâs face. Duan Lingâs cheeks are covered in tears as he looks up at him. Wu Du looks irritated, and he really doesnât know what else he can do; he pries Duan Lingâs mouth open and pours a bowl of medicine down his throat.
Drowsiness assails him after he takes the medicine, and Duan Ling lies down on his side. His mind is all empty; it must be some kind of sedative, leaving him no time to think about sad things.
Duan Ling is awake the next morning. Yawning, Wu Du watches Duan Ling for a short while after breakfast. Heâs attending to the flowers and watering them as usual, and doesnât try to kill himself again. âI already said my piece on whatâs right and wrong, so if you try to kill yourself again Iâm not going to try to stop you. If you want to die though donât die here â donât make me clean up after a dead body. Got it?â
Duan Ling stares at Wu Du. Standing in the corridor, Wu Du is suddenly finding Duan Ling a bit troublesome, but inside him thereâs an emotion he canât quite describe in words as well; he both pities and sympathise with him, yet he also admires him somewhat. Surely Duan Ling has had to endure a lot of hardship coming thus far.
âClean up the room a bit,â Wu Du tells him, changes into proper clothes, and leaves the house.
Duan Ling takes off his shoes, and heads inside to clean up Wu Duâs room for him. Thereâs nothing to eat in the afternoon again, and Duan Ling sits in front of the corridor looking up at the shock of blue above him; outside, the cicadas are starting to call. A lot of things that he wasnât able to figure out before can be fully explained now, and the past is shattered along with it.
I do not monetise my hobby translations, but if youâd like to support my work generally or support my light novel habit, you can either buy me a coffee or commission me. This is also to note that if you see this message anywhere else than on tumblr, do come to my tumblr. Itâs ad-free. âŠď¸
The English idiom is from the bible. The Chinese version is âbetter to live badly than to die wellâ or âbetter a useless life than a good deathâ. âŠď¸