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Lately, the Duke of Bright and the Marquis have been vying with each other to support me with so many things.
I had never been so pampered like this in my life, but the more comfortable I became, the more uncomfortable I felt.
I knew why the Duke and Marquis of Bright were doing this— They were both feeling a heavy guilt towards me and Archie, a guilt that had only increased after they learned the truth behind Archie’s broken engagement through me.
But now, Archie’s whereabouts were unknown— They knew she was alive, but they couldn’t find her.
So they wanted to make it up to me first. I guess it was their own form of atonement.
That’s why the two didn’t spare any expense in preparing for my debutante, why they taught me the family’s swordsmanship, and why they even started doing social activities that they didn’t usually do.
The duke even gave me the molten iron sword as a gift.
But just knowing that made me feel uncomfortable.
The more the Duke and the Marquis of Bright were nice to me, the more I felt a pang of unidentifiable guilt.
I felt like I was not the one who deserved their love and favor.
Suddenly, with each new ‘Thing’ given to me in the Bright household, I would suddenly feel a strange feeling as if I was usurping someone else’s place in the Bright family.
“Are you sure… Can I really take this?”
I asked, with my voice naturally lowering as my emotions gradually subsided.
No matter how I thought about it, I didn’t feel like I deserved to own this sword.
“You don’t have to feel burdened, just because it’s a sword that I’m supposed to be giving to my heir. I’m not asking you to take over the family name, I just wanted to give it to you.”
Duke Bright may have misinterpreted my hesitation.
He thought about it for a while, then spoke cautiously.
“Just.. Well, I haven’t done a very good job of being a grandfather so far. This won’t compensate for the past few years, but I wanted to give you something— Cough.”
He coughed awkwardly, and then, he continued.
“Whether you like it or not, you’re still the blood of the Bright family, so don’t feel pressured. You deserve this sword.”
“… Yes.”
I lost.
I couldn’t refuse him anymore.
I tightened my grip on the molten iron sword and looked up at him.
“Thank you. I’ll take good care of it.”
When you’re given a good gift, you need to show your gratitude.
So I bowed to the Duke to show my sincerity.
Which knight doesn’t love to receive a good sword as a gift, and a molten iron sword at that!
It’s a lot of pressure, but I let it roll into my arms anyway.
My spirits soon lifted at the unexpected good fortune.
“… Thank you so much, grandfather.”
I smiled and thanked him without realizing it, and the Duke of Bright opened his eyes wide.
Only then did I realize that I smiled at the duke.
It was the first smile I’ve ever shown to him.
“Yeah….”
Duke Bright looked surprised for a moment, but then his wrinkled eyes crinkled and he smiled.
He looked quite pleased as his eyes narrowed in an arc, and I felt a sudden pang in the pit of my stomach.
Just as the lake that had been frozen all winter melts in the warm spring sunshine, it feels like something lumpy in my heart is melting a little bit.
I pressed my lips together, after feeling an indescribable emotion.
It was a strange feeling.
⚘
「A sword of the Bright family… You must mean the Molten Iron Sword that Duke Bright wielded in his youth.」
“Did you know?”
「He was famous among the knights, and people even used to call him the ‘ Knight of the Black Sword ‘ in his youth.」
“Knight of the Black Sword?”
「Yeah, I thought I still saw him still wielding a molten iron sword—」
“That’s right, It was a different sword than the one he gave me, and the one he gave me is the one he used when he was still in his youth.”
「I see.」
I was lying in bed while fiddling with the spirit stone.
Whenever the crown prince spoke, the spirit stone would flash blue.
It was now a part of my routine to talk to him this way every night, before going to bed.
「Anyway, congratulations. You have a good sword. 」
“It’s more than I deserve…”
「What’s wrong with your voice?」
“What?”
「Your voice seemed to have trailed a little. Is something wrong?」
A worried voice suddenly came out of the blue spirit stone.
I bit my lower lip reflexively like a person who was just pricked to the core.
I thought I was talking as usual, but did my voice sound weird?
Is it that obvious? I didn’t know that?
“No, nothing’s wrong.”
I wiped the corner of my mouth with my hand, careful not to let my voice tremble.
We can only hear each other’s voices through the spirit stone, not see each other’s expressions.
But why?
Why do I feel like the crown prince was strangely looking at me face to face, even though I knew he couldn’t see me right now.
「It’s just your voice, I feel like you’re a little nervous just now.」
“… Do you sense that?”
「Of course.」
“I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, but you’re actually quick-witted.”
「It’s actually a skill I’ve acquired to survive. After all, I have to pay attention to every breath and every wink I do, inside the imperial palace.」
Does living inside the imperial palace make you hyper sensitive like the crown prince?
Well if you think about it…
Maybe not.
Considering there’s the second prince.
He’s an idiot who can’t even recognize his own fiancée.
“It’s just… I’ve got a lot on my mind lately.”
I figured the crown prince would figure it out somehow, so I answered honestly because I thought it would be useless to hide anything from him at this point.
「What?」
“Well, I can’t really put my finger on it… I just feel uncomfortable— When people in the Bright family are being nice to me.”
「Does it bother you that the Duke and Marquis of Bright are looking out for you?」
“Yes I do.”
I don’t even understand what I feel at the moment…
I sighed heavily, somewhat feeling indescribable.
My insides sting like fishhooks in my throat everytime I recall the Duke’s childlike delight at seeing me smile.
“Do you know what our House of Sabrina motto is?”
「What is it?」
“It’s an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.”
Whatever you get, you have to give it back.
It was a teaching that had long been passed down in the House of Sabrina, and it was my life motto as well.
Indeed, up until this point, I had lived a life of returning favors with favors and malice with malice, but that was not possible with the Brights.
“They think of me as family, but I can’t— return the favors they give me.”
「You’re unable to return them?」
“Yes… Because we don’t feel the same way…”
I couldn’t stand it anymore so I blurted out everything that I couldn’t tell anyone.
Ever since I came to the capital, the emotions that had been pressing down on me started pouring out.
“I’d rather they didn’t give me anything at all.”
It was a heartfelt emotion that I could not tell the duke, who wished to get to know his granddaughter, or the Marquis, who was happy to be reunited with his daughter.
「Do you resent them?」
“I don’t resent them. If I did, I wouldn’t be here to help or anything.”
I certainly don’t hate them.
At first… I didn’t like them.
Especially Duke Bright but as I got to know them, I realized that they were both clumsy rather than bad people, but that was the end of it.
「Then?」
“I don’t dislike them, but I don’t like them either.”
They were people who are neither liked nor disliked.
To me, the Duke and Marquis were just that.
As a result, I’ve found myself in an awkward state of not being able to push them away recently, but at the same time I was still unable to accept them.
“It’s still awkward and uncomfortable—.”
Aside from when I lived with them as an infant, I had only been in the Bright family household for about a month and a half now, and the people of the Bright household were still strangers to me.
I’m honestly more comfortable with the crown prince than the Duke and Marquis of Bright, so that’s all I have to say.
I recognized that they were my family now, but I hadn’t yet accepted them in my heart, and it was uncomfortable to receive blind favors under such circumstances.
“I didn’t realize I was such a calculating person.”
「Why do you think so?」
“I felt like I’m using the Bright family for my own purposes.”
I chose to take my Debutante with the Marquis of Bright’s support not because I wanted to become a Bright, but because I wanted to become a member of the Imperial Knights.
The same goes for me staying at the Marquis Estate.
At first it was to figure out what was really going on, but now it was to protect myself from people who had malice against me, such as the Empress and Countess Olette.
“If I were alone, I would have given up everything and returned to my estate.”
It hurts my pride, but I know my situation very well.
The House of Sabrina was a noble family, but it had no power.
What would have happened if I hadn’t come to the capital and met Marquis Bright?
What if I had refused to take the Bright family’s help?
Perhaps I would have hit a wall of reality and given up on my dream of becoming a knight.
After all, I was unable to afford to attend a debutante ball.
But now I have the Bright family behind me.
It was said that the family’s prestige had fallen to the ground, but my grandfather was still one of the only three dukes in the empire, and my father was a marquis, and the chancellor of the empire.
The power and wealth of these two men alone is far beyond that of my humble countryside as a lowly daughter of a Viscountess.
In fact, I have been reaping the benefits by staying at the Bright Family while studying for my imperial knight selection tests and debutante training.
The Empress’ inability to get rid of me immediately after I learned the truth of the engagement breakup, the silence of Countess Olette or the second Prince, and the ability to refuse invitation of the other nobles or the request for an interview from the newspaper companies and reporters were all benefits I got from hiding behind the fence of the Bright family.
“It’s just not my style to be so pampered like this…”
「But you said you were unable to do what the Duke and the Marquis wanted? 」
“Yes. That’s why it’s a huge problem! I’m about to go crazy!”
I’m seriously about to go crazy.
I buried my face in the pillow, unable to bear the qualms of my conscience.
It all depends on the test results, but I originally intended to leave the Marquis Estate when the situation was resolved to some extent.
But I don’t know what will happen now.
Can I really refuse the Duke and Marquis of Bright?