When Song Qingshi woke up, he found that it was well into the night. He looked at the decor of the Heaven Martial Sect guest room around him. He was confused for a moment, thinking of where he was. It wasnât until he saw that the lamp on the table was made with Night Luminescent Pearl from Heaven Craft Pavilion, and was neither an oil lamp nor a candle, that he woke up completely.
He anxiously jumped out of bed. Barefooted, he looked all around, only to see that man dressed in a red brocade robe, sitting sideways on the chaise couch by the window. He had long dropped his disguise and moonlight shone down upon the most gorgeous face. There was a deep darkness in his dark golden phoenix eyes. His long slightly curling hair was tied casually next to his ear. His guise as a young man has long since faded and his stature was now much tallerâŚ
This was Feng Jun, Mo Yuan, and also WuhuanâŚ
Song Qingshi carefully approached him. He dipped his finger in the spirit-refreshing tea, wanting to write his question on the table.
âYou can already speak.â The man woke up from his thoughts and couldnât help but say when he saw him trying to write.
Song Qingshi then realized that he was no longer mute. He quickly let out an âah ah ahâ, practicing vocalizing. It took quite a bit of time before he recovered the ability to speak. He thought for a long time and quietly called out, âWu-WuhuanâŚâ
This was the only name he wanted to call.
Shenjun didnât deny it any more. He simply took his hand and gently placed it on his palm, holding it tightly.
âIâm sorry,â Song Qingshi saw this familiar movement and understood that the other party already knew what he had been doing in Mo Yuanâs formation. In the formation, he relied on his obtuse heart to persist in doing the mission over a hundred times. Now that the dust has settled, he finally felt the pain caused by the more than a hundred failures. At first, it was dull throbbing pain and then the pain grew deeper and deeper until it reached the bottom of his heart. He whimpered and tried to suppress the torrent of tears. But he simply couldnât bear it anymore and he finally cried out loud, saying, âSorry, Iâm too stupid. I tried my best, but I couldnât solve the problem. Iâm sorry, I caused you so much painâŚâ
He was incoherent from cryng. He didnât know what he was talking about.
âDonât be sad, Iâm back.â Shenjun knew that he had accumulated too many emotions and needed to vent. He didnât try to stop him. He just took him into his arms and gently stroked his back, waiting patiently for him to cry away all the pain in his memory and completely return to reality.
Song Qingshi cried for a long time, and gradually stoppedâŚ
He firmly grasped the warm hand and confirmed that this person was still by his side. He hadnât lost him. His eyes were full of questions.
âAfter I entered the formation, I didnât receive any messy mission and I was immediately attached to Wuhuanâs body. I knew that this was me in my previous life. I hated that kind of identity and situation. I intended to immediately withdraw but then I saw you coming and I decided not to leave. The next thing I knew, it was like I was personally experiencing a play. I watched and felt but I couldnât control the development and course of the story.â Seeing that he had finally calmed down, shenjun slowly told him of what he had experienced in the formation. âI watched you⌠as you tried your hardest to save me, as you led me by the hand. I was so happy. You agreed to marry me and be my Daoist companion and I was even more overjoyed. I thought that having felt that kind of happiness, it didnât matter if Mo Yuan met an unfortunate end. It didnât matter that he went mad and died. However, I never expected that the ending of the story would be like that. It was so painful that I simply couldnât accept itâŚâ
Song Qingshi apologized again, âIâm sorry.â
âYou donât need to apologize. Youâre not the one in the wrong.â Shenjun took a deep breath. He had been thinking about this issue while Song Qingshi had been sleeping. âWhen you failed for the first time, I was so angry that I couldnât help myself. I hated destiny, hated missions, I even hated myself in my previous life. I wanted to tear apart the tiger brace. But I saw that you chose to start again. I was a little surprised. It was like demons and gods at workâŚI wondered what you were going to do, so I stopped myself⌠âŚâ
Weâre sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so weâre going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
As a result, he watched Song Qingshi, begin again and again, and fail again and againâŚ
Mo Yuanâs formation wasnât an exam question for Song Qingshi; rather, it was the answer he had left for himself.
âBeing manipulated by the so-called mission and destiny is an injustice from heaven. But âunsolvableâs failure lay with meâŚâ He knew that Song Qingshi had discovered this problem a long time ago through his countless repeated failures. But there was no way for him to resolve it. âI like you very much and Iâm willing to give you everything; my feelings, my life, my soul⌠But the only thing I didnât give you was trust.â
He was too smart, too proud, too self-confident. He was too engrossed in striving for perfection and so he couldnât face mistakes and failures.
He didnât believe in Song Qingshiâs mission, nor did he believe enough in Song Qingshiâs feelings for him, which resulted in an unsolvable ending.
The thing manipulating fate behind the scenes took advantage of these two small gaps in his personality â perfectionism and mysophobia. As long as he was thrown into the filthy and dirty darkness, it could relax and watch him repeatedly enmesh himself in a trap of his devising. Because of his self-loathing, even if he ran across a life-saving driftwood, he would only drag the driftwood into the water, forcing it to painfully sink into the abyss with him.
He really was so stupidâŚ
âThe paranoia came from fear, and the tendency to evade came from the feelings of inferiority.â Shenjun finally analyzed his own heart, facing the deep darkness inside. âIâm afraid; afraid that your feelings for me are just a beautiful mistake. Iâm afraid that youâll find the right answer and forget all about me. Iâm afraid you will like another and Iâm also afraid that others will like you. Iâm even more afraid that one day, youâll understand what true perfection is and then youâll realize my imperfections and leave in despairâŚâ
Song Qingshi desperately shook his head to say that he wouldnât.
Mo Yuan fell amidst his crazed massacre. Before he died, he finally caught a glimpse of the mystery known only to heaven. He understood then that the mission that Song Qingshi had once told him of, was real. But by then, he was already powerless to redeem the situation.
He then made this tiger brace, sealing his memory in it, installing this unsolvable mission.
The way to initiate the mission was through Song Qingshiâs two different fires but the actual target had been his future self.
What Mo Yuan wanted him to see was Song Qingshiâs redemption of never giving up. It then opened this paranoid and stubborn heart.
One hundred and twenty-seven mission cycles.
No matter how difficult or painful the mission; no matter whether he was blind or dirty; no matter how bad the circumstances he found himself in; no matter if he was beautiful or ugly; no matter how dark his heart was; no matter how many bad things he has done; he was the one who was always chosen and given heart and soulâŚ
Song Qingshi had tirelessly worked hard, trying to drag him out of the abyss.
So, donât be afraid, he will never give up on youâŚ
Shenjun turned Song Qingshiâs palm over and gently caressed the back of his hand. He looked at him, and after getting his permission, he once again branded the soulmark.
The two peach blossoms marks, through the fetters of lifetime after lifetime, had already turned so red that they were almost dripping blood.
His smile was sadder than crying. âHow many lifetimes have we been Daoist companions to make such a mark?â
âI-I told you,â Song Qingshi hadnât fully adapted to speaking again and his speech wasnât very smooth. He tried hard and said, âWuhuan, I like you.â
He was the most fixated person in the world. The things he liked, he would never ever change.
Song Qingshi felt a bit wronged, âIâve said I like you many, many times.â
Anything said three times or more signified that it is important. He thought he had said it clearly enough, but the other party still didnât understandâŚ
Shenjun calculated and said, âIn this world, you have said it one hundred and eighty-four times.â
He remembered every time.
Song Qingshi was stunned. He had lost part of his memory and there were a lot of things he didnât remember clearly, but he felt like he shouldnât have said it that often, right?
Shenjun thought back to those pleasant memories and explained, âYou liked saying it in bed.â
Song Qingshi understood, and honestly confessed, âI must have been begging for mercyâŚâ
Shenjun was stunned.
Song Qingshi was so embarrassed that he wanted to scratch the floor, but the words were already out and he was left with no choice but to explain, âThey say that men canât say no in bed. S-so, I was embarrassed to directlyâŚâ
He learned a bitter lesson in Mo Yuanâs memory. Sword cultivators gave everything theyâve got in whatever they did. His initial cultivation level hadnât been very high, and he hadnât yet tempered his body. He was played with to the extreme but he still couldnât say anything. Oftentimes, by the time they finished, heâd be on the verge of passing out. Heâd thought of making a wooden sign with this sentence, using a tactful way, he hoped that for the sake of how much he liked him⌠that heâd let him off once or twice. However, he thought this plan was too strange and ultimately decided not to do this stupid thing. Later, he had managed to raise his cultivation base and he tempered his body with medicine to adapt.
Song Qingshi confessed to the truth, feeling his vigor reach rock bottom. His head was lowered, and his face was beet red.
Shenjun was amused by him, and the depressive atmosphere was swept clean away.
When Song Qingshi saw the otherâs smile, his face turned even more red. He promised sincerely, âI will train my body well.â
âEn, Iâm not afraid anymore. No matter how many missions or rebirths, I believe that you will come find and save me.â Shenjun ceased his laughter and said seriously, âQingshi, from now on, I will believe in your feelings. I will believe every word you say and not ruin your mission again⌠So, letâs try dealing sincerely and fairly. Letâs say everything and join hands to try to break this disgusting imprisonment by fate.â
Song Qingshi earnestly promised, âIf the mission fails, I will accompany you in death.â
Shenjun thought for a long time. âOkay.â
âThe first step to dealing sincerely and fairly,â Song Qingshi asked the most important question, âTell me, what is your real name?â
A name is a very important thing. Whether it was Mo Yuan or Feng Jun, these were all cowardly products of his being unable to face his past.
If he couldnât face the darkness, couldnât face his true self, he would never be able to break through the imprisonment of darkness, of being played tricks on and being controlled by disgusting fate.
Shenjun hesitated for a moment, then smiled softly.
âMy name is Yue Wuhuan.â
As soon as he spoke, the young manâs soft lips were branded onto his lips, he then happily told him in a loud voice.