The whole campus, both inside and outside the school, was crowded with students moving to have lunch, and no one picked up on Nataliaâs little murmur.
âŠ
What came into her mind were the words she didnât even want to remember.
âHow did you find it, Natalia? I just searched for it there earlier.â
âTrue. Itâs always like that. I canât help but wonder.â
She just wanted to help a friend who was in trouble because of something he had lost. That was it. And yetâŠ
The moment she found it, when it fell by the table, or the other time when she saw it on the shelf, and when she picked it up and handed it to him, he said something different than she had expected.
âHey, was that really there? You didnât hide it?â
She froze, not understanding what was being said.
Why, why, I always have no idea why they would take it that way.
The cat she found was dead in the bushes in the park.
Her small bird had its feathers plucked, and had fallen miserably to the bottom of the bird cage.
I donât know why. The things I hold dear always, always disappear.
I wonder why. Why is it that even when I think I have found a friend, they always hate me?
Yes, always. People and things, everything.
Some die, some disappear, some will be ruined, and some will hate me and leave voluntarily.
âI hate people like you.â
âYou pretend to be innocent like this, but behind the scenes, youâre sneaking around doing nasty thingsâŠâ
âYou are such a jerk. Iâve never met someone like you before.â
What are you talking about?
What is this about?
What have I done to you people? What did I do?
Am I making people feel bad about themselves without even realizing it?
Is that why everyone is disappearing around me?
So⊠Leo stopped coming to the academy, too?
So, if I go to the Reinalpha Family, will they let me see you?
Hey, what did I⊠what did I do?
A clear drop of tear trickled down Nataliaâs cheek and landed on the back of her hand.
âŠ
âWhatâs wrong, Natalia?â
As Natalia sat alone and ate her lunch, a voice suddenly fell above her head, but it was not the person she had been hoping for.
However, it was the childhood friend, who has always been by her side.
It was the voice of a dear friend who always chose to be by Nataliaâs side, no matter what anyone said or what happened.
She looked up, and called that one and only name.
ââŠAlejandro.â
In response to Nataliaâs voice, Alejandro squinted his amber eyes.
âYouâre always alone these days. That man⊠what happened to your lover, is he not with you?â
âI donât know either. He hasnât been to the academy for a long time⊠and I canât go to the Marquiseâs house to see him.â
âSo⊠heâs at his house?â
Natalia, who replied with a dejected expression, didnât notice Alejandroâs probing look.
âI think heâs there. The butler always comes out and refuses, saying, âThe young master is too busy to spend time with youâ. If he wasnât there, he would say he wasnât.â
ââŠhmm.â
âI wonder if I was hatedâŠâ
âWhat, did Natalia do something?â
To this question, Natalia shook her head weakly.
I donât remember doing anything.
But it is true that, even until now, Iâve been accused, ignored, and avoided by people I donât remember doing anything to.
If so, then, this time, too.
Before, I knew it⊠maybe I did something to offend Leo. The first person of the opposite gender whom I ever liked.
Yes, Iâm sure.
âMaybe I did something that Leo doesnât like without knowing itâŠâ
As she muttered this, her eyes slowly grew hot.
I had never, ever intended to intentionally hurt anyone or anything. And yet I was always told that I did. Even I was surprised, and even doubted myself.
I hated myself for hurting someone so badly and not even realizing it.
I hated myself for always making the same mistakes, no matter how much I tried to pay attention and be careful.
I knew I was no good, but I couldnât understand what was wrong with me, and I couldnât forgive myself for being such a pathetic person.
Therefore, I was trying to keep a reasonable distance from people.
I took one look at Leo and thought he was like a prince, and I had hope that he would love me even if I was like this.
âI love you, I wonât let you go no matter whatâ, I wish those words were true.
And yet, again.
Maybe I made the same mistake.
If I knew what was wrong, at least I could try to fix it.
Tears welled up and she hurriedly wiped them away with her sleeve.
Alejandro then softly caressed Nataliaâs head with his hand.
âI donât know whatâs going on, but Iâll do whatever I can to help you.â
âUh⊠yeah.â
âItâs okay, youâre not alone. Iâm here. I will never leave you.â
âYeah⊠thanks⊠Alejandro.â
âDonât worry, I know youâre a good girl.â
Natalia did not notice the distorted pleasure in Alejandroâs eyes as he said this.
âBecause you are my precious, precious, princess.â
It was this obsession that surrounds Natalia, like a spider thread that entangles her wholly, without knowing who put it up.