By the time Eila woke up again, a day had already passed. Next to her bed sat the Countess’ doctor. She was looking at Eila with worried eyes.
“Why am I …….”
“Oh, you’re awake. Please continue lying down.”
Eila looked around and looked for Leon, but he was nowhere to be seen. Like a fool. What did you expect. Tears flowed again. Really, why am I like this?
"Oh dear."
As Eila sobbed as soon as she woke up, the doctor handed a handkerchief to Eila, Eila thanked the doctor and wiped her tears with it.
“It’s strange. Why am I in tears all of a sudden….”
“There is nothing strange. Emotional ups and downs are one of the most common symptoms.”
Most common symptoms? At those words, Eila lifted her head. She remembered what had happened before she lost consciousness. Leon came in smashing through her door and she was arguing with him and suddenly nausea came up…….
"No way…….”
"Yes. You are pregnant.”
At those words, her handkerchief fell down with a sound.
* * * (read on pink-grapes.blogpot.com)
“Please eat a little more.”
The butler looked anxiously at Eila. It had been a week since the news of her pregnancy was announced. She didn’t know since she did not go out, but the news of her pregnancy seemed to have become known, as suddenly more letters and congratulatory gifts arrived.
But not everyone could be happy. It was because from that day on, Eila began to become noticeably emaciated.
At the butler's earnest request, Eila scooped up the soup several more times. Even so, the amount it soup on her plate didn’t changed much. Eventually she covered her mouth like she was about to throw up and the butler came up running in surprise.
"I’m okay. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can eat anymore.”
“I’m sorry, Miss Eila. I didn't even think about how hard it must be for you and was only being greedy...….”
“What is there to be sorry about, butler?”
Eila got up with a weak smile. Then she said to the butler, as if she remembered something.
“Ah, thank you again for the flowers today.”
“Ah, that…….”
Eila’s words baffled the butler. However, Eila left the dining room without noticing.
~
Eila sighed involuntarily as she returned to her room and buried her body on her sofa.
"Sigh…….”
It was good that everyone cared, but she was not a porcelain doll, and it was awkward and embarrassing for everyone to make a fuss like this.
When the news of her pregnancy was announced, everything in the mansion revolved around Eila. The servants were careful not to make a loud noise, and things that were good for pregnant women filled the table at once. Conversely, the bad ones were immediately removed from the mansion.
Eila turned her head to look at the flower on her table. As if they had been carefully selected, not a single petal or a leaf was damaged. A soft smile appeared on the corner of Eila's lips as she looked at her flowers.
“…… Thank you for caring about me.”
But soon her face darkened again. It wasn’t everyone. One person didn’t care about her. It was Leon.
‘He hasn’t even come once.’
Leon has never been seen since her pregnancy was announced. The butler said he had stopped by for a while, but Eila, who was asleep, did not see him. The butler said Leon was so busy several times a year. He was always like that. The butler said he would come to the mansion today, but she did not believe it.
“…… He’s too much.”
Thinking of Leon, she murmured. She should have known from the time when he asked her to do fulfill her obligation. Indeed, she was only a obligation to him. As soon as he achieved his purpose, he would cut off all interest like this right away.
There were no tears now. She was just blaming her stupidity. Eila raised her knees and buried her head.
Knock knock.
At the sound of a knock on the door, Eila raised her head. Perhaps it’s him?
“Miss Eila, may I come in?”
The doctor's voice made her laugh. What did she expect. Eila hurriedly adjusted her clothes and opened the door.
“How are you today?”
The doctor who came inside and began treatment. The treatment was not a big deal, but the doctor carefully examined Eila without roughly passing anything over. The sight of the doctor made Eila even more depressed.
“Your complexion is getting worse these days. I heard from the butler, and he said that you hardly ate today. The Countess is also very worried about Miss Eila.”
At those words, she said, Eila lowered her head and she murmured.
“…… That’s not true.”
"Yes?"
“…… Everyone is worried about the child, not me!”
Without realizing it, her voice grew louder.
“Miss Ei, Eila.”
Eila continued to shout at the bewildered look of the doctor.
“Everyone looks at me with worried eyes! They ask me if I'm okay every time! They’re not worried about me! All that matters is the successor to Dermund!”
Eila stared at her stomach with resentful eyes.
"I didn't want to have a child!"
Eila, who shouted so, sat down and sobbed.
That was a lie. In fact, there was both fear and anticipation on the day he came to her to fulfill his obligation. If I fulfill this duty, Leon will no longer hate me. If I do my part like that, can I stay here?
The doctor patted Eila on the back, who was crying sadly.
Even though she said she didn't want a child, it broke her heart to see Eila crouching down to protect her belly. Most of the letters to Eila were filled with expectations and blessings for the future heir of the Dermund family, rather than the comfort of the unknown for Eila. That made it harder for Eila to endure.
‘Miss Eila is so anxious. Why aren't you coming’
The doctor comforted Eila, who continued to weep, uttering the worst curse she could think of at Leon for not returning to the mansion. That's why she didn't see someone turning around the slightly opened door.
~
The mood at the mansion subsided even more. Eila did not come out more and more, and the Countess who was worried about Eila did not improve her condition either. Leon, who was supposed to stop by at night, did not return at all. Instead, he just sent her a letter asking her to send the things he needed to the Imperial Palace. Anyone could see that Leon was reluctant to return to the Countess’ mansion.
As she watched the carriage loaded with Leon's luggage depart for the Imperial Palace, Eila closed the curtains. She heard the gossip of the servants who had been to the Imperial Palace secretly whispering.
“You heard that the Crown Princess keeps the young Count by her side all the time?”
“It’s true. The Young Count is too much. How can he do this when Miss Eila is here?”
“It must be because Miss Eila is here. The princess's child cannot be the heir of Dermund. He can protect the family and keep his relationship with the princess...….”
As she sat in her dark room, she contemplated the future. She will have a child, and the child will be loved. The child is the heir to the Dermund family. But what about her? What happens to her when her usefulness is gone? Her body shuddered.
She thought that the dark room was somehow like her future.
~
The next day, Eila wrote a letter. It was a letter to Leon. She kept things simple.
[After giving birth, I want a divorce. I will entrust the child to the Dermund family.]