I have to say goodbye. With that thought in mind, Eila tried to approach the princess, but Leon tightly hugged her as if there was no need for it, and motioned for the Princess to go out as if chasing away flies.
“I will ignore your disrespectful attitude for today. So have a proper conversation without further misunderstanding, Leon Dermund. You can rest until the weekend. When you come to the Imperial Palace next week, I hope that your ghastly face gets better.”
The princess with a satisfied expression of her generosity closed the door. The storm quickly receded and the room became quiet.
“…….”
“…….”
Leon was the first to break the silence.
"No."
No to what?
“Don’t leave me. I can never let you go.”
He tighten his hold on Eila. Eila, who heard his trembling voice, spoke quietly.
“I am confused.”
Her mind was dizzy. What she knew and what she had just heard were mixed up in her head. She found that there was only one way to clear up this confusion. Eila decided she would ask Leon and sort them out one by one, starting with the oldest.
“Do you like me?”
“No, I love you.”
To Eila's question, Leon immediately gave his answer.
“Since when?”
“Before you came to live in this mansion, from the first time we met in the garden.”
At his answer, Eila traced a distant memory. Whenever she followed her parents to the Countess’ mansion, she roamed the greenhouses and gardens full of flowers. There, he saw a black-eyed boy with dark hair that was much bigger than her.
"But…… Why did you say you don't want to marry me?"
Ah. A sigh escaped Leon's mouth.
“…… Did you hear that?”
"I did. I followed the Countess to the mansion, and shortly after the marriage was decided, I heard a voice coming through the door.”
The voice of a boy who cried out why he had to marry like that left a deep scar in her heart that day. But she couldn't tell anyone. Because she thought he must have been hurting more than her.
“I’m sure that day…… I was angry with the Countess. I said I would never get married like this. I really hated it.”
“…….”
“You were a girl I had known for a long time. Every once in a while, I purposely made all kinds of excuses and went out to the garden to see your face, even for a short time. I asked the Countess to find out your name, and sometimes I secretly wrote your name down in the corner of my notebook.”
He did. In the corner of the paper burned in the fireplace, shy in case anyone would see it, the name of Eila was engraved on it. It was a name that made him smile ten times while writing it once and looking at it three times.
“But one day, that girl came to the mansion. She was so terrified that I couldn’t see her smiling like before. And I saw her nodding her head as she swallowed her tears when the Countess said she should marry. I didn't like that. You looked like you had no choice but to accept something terrible.”
So he got mad at the Countess who told him to marry Eila. Because he was becoming Eila's nightmare.
“I thought I might wait until you were older. But at that time, if you didn't get married, the Countess said she would marry you off to someone else in order to protect you from your relatives. At that point, I said I would. Because I couldn't be a fool watching you marry someone else."
Even with that thought, on the wedding day, Leon could not hide his misery as he looked at Eila, who was shaking while holding his hand in the cold eyes of people. No, he didn't want this.
I wanted to propose to you on the day when the most beautiful flowers bloom. On a day when you can choose me for yourself and smile instead of trying to be pushed like that.
“I knew you were afraid of me. Because I saw you run away after the wedding. After a while, I heard from the Countess. You asked to go to the academy.”
The day Eila left, Leon sat alone in his room for a long time.
Shall I write a letter? However, he never sent the letter that he wrote carefully, word by word, over and over again. She left this place because she didn't like it, but he was afraid this letter would scare her.
So he ended up sending her a short card with no emotion for a New Year's card.
Leon loved summer. When summer came, Eila returned to the mansion.
He had initially watched Eila spend her time in the mansion. But when she noticed his gaze, she quickly returned to her room. She must have been uncomfortable around him.
Seeing Eila avoiding him, Leon deliberately found a job and stayed in the Imperial Palace. Because he thought she would be able to enjoy her break without him. Still, if he couldn't stand the desire to see her, he stared at her for a while from a distance so far that she wouldn't even notice.
12 years passed like that.
After the Countess suddenly collapsed, and after urgently contacting Eila, Leon went to the Imperial greenhouse to cut flowers. Eila only came back in the summer when everything was fresh. He was worried that she might feel unfamiliar in the dreary mansion during winter. The servants were ordered to clean her study and leave her fireplace stuffed. He was sure to find Eila there when she arrived.
And on the day Ella returned, Leon quietly opened the door of the study with a pounding heart. And he heard it.
‘…… it’s not like I married him because I liked him.’
He had known, but when he heard it in her own voice, his heart went numb. Leon hastily called Eila. It was because he was afraid of how much more tormenting words would come out of Eila's mouth if he stayed. When she got up and almost fell, she'll never know how much patience he spent to keep himself from hugging her and kissing her when he held her by the waist. For 12 years, while he watched from afar, the girl had turned into a woman.
“I knew you didn't want to come back to mansion after graduating from the academy. therefore…… I had no choice but to act lowly. I told you to do your obligation, citing the prince's new law which I knew could be prevented.”
He already knew about the first prince's bill that Gordon was talking about. There were many ways to prevent it, and just because the law came into existence did not mean that there was no way out. But he didn't say that to Eila and made her stay here, saying it was a serious problem.
“I thought one day you might find out that I used this to hold you back. But even if you found out and despised me more...… I couldn't stand it.”
Even if I had to force her, it was good. He hoped that Eila would be by his side somehow. And as soon as he held her while she was trembling and entered her, he knew. He couldn’t let Eila go even if he died. When morning came and he saw her face asleep in his arms, Leon looked at her quietly, as if he had forgotten to breathe. His long-awaited wife was more beautiful and precious than anything else in the world.
“…… Why didn't you come back when you found out I was pregnant?"
“Because you fainted because I approached you.”
Even thinking about Ella’s appearance as she collapsed to the floor, covering her mouth with her tired, blue face, made his heart feel cold. If she she saw him again, she would suffer again, so he stared at her for a long time while she was in deeply asleep, and then went back to the imperial palace.
Still, he wanted to talk to her again, so he returned. However, on the day he returned, Leon heard Eila sobbing through her door. The cry that she didn't want to have children kept ringing in his ears.
What have I done.
Waiting for a long time didn’t give him the right to have her.
He wanted her to laugh, but he was still her nightmare. Leon was not been able to return to the mansion since then.
~
Even after Leon's confession was over, Eila didn't say anything for a long time.
He couldn't even ask for forgiveness.
No matter how many misunderstandings overlapped each other, Leon was well aware of what he had done. Did he not hug her, who was not properly prepared, by citing her obligations? A heir? That wasn’t even important. Other than the Countess’ wishes, he didn’t care. He just wanted her to stay with him.
“Leon.”
Leon's eyes widened at the voice of Eila who opened her mouth after a while. It was the first time she properly called his name outside of their bedroom. To him, who was surprised, Ella caressed the bouquet in her arms and asked with difficulty.
“…… Can you give me flowers tomorrow too?”
It was a very simple question. But it was also a question that contained a lot.
Leon felt like crying. Time and time again, he had hurt her and Eila was forgiving him for everything.
Will you still love me tomorrow?
He hugged Eila tightly with his trembling hands. A little body waiting for his answer was trembling just like him in his arms. They thought of each other so much, why did they have to wait so long?
Leon knew it from the first moment he saw her. Eila will become the most beautiful and precious person in his life. He answered with all his sincerity without any hesitation.
“As long as I live, you can receive flowers for the rest of your life.”
I will love you for the rest of my life. That was his answer.
The two always looked at each other. It was a face that was always missed and a face each wanted to be with. Their lips met. And it didn't fall for a very long time.