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“Shall we have some fun?” Ou Shaowen squeezed out a little smile, “I took a long vacation from my manager. When you are discharged from the hospital, shall we go out and have fun together? I still have many, many places that I haven’t been to. I have been to several cities when I was working, but I was in a hurry and didn’t experience anything. Let’s go on a trip together, and we don’t have to do anything, just look at the scenery and eat something delicious.
“I don’t want to think about work for the time being, you don’t want to think about it either, we’ll just spend every day together. If we can’t travel around, it’s also good to stay in bed playing games. As long as I’m with you, it’s all good.”
Ou Renjin listened to him quietly, “Your tone makes me feel like you are completing some bucket list with me.”
Ou Shaowen paused there, a little embarrassed by being seen through. He glared at Ou Renjin, but his eyes were misty and not at all intimidating.
Ou Renjin didn’t want him to be in denial, he wanted him little by little to accept the fact that he might be leaving. He was saying these words with the mentality that he might die soon, but he didn’t know that Ou Shaowen was also holding the idea that he might die soon, and he was having these final fantasies.
He didn’t argue and nodded, “If it’s the bucket list, it’s the bucket list, will you accompany me to do it?”
Ou Renjin laughed, “Wouldn’t it be sad to do those things with the attitude of completing the bucket list? Besides, it’s you who should accompany me to do it. Shouldn’t this be my list?”
“No, it’s going to be me who decides.” Ou Shaowen rarely had this kind of willful persistence.
Ou Renjin didn’t have any special wishes to realise, so he was happy to follow him, “Okay, then you decide. But first, I’ll have to review it after you finish it, and I won’t agree to it unconditionally.”
“Huh? Even a bucket list can’t be granted?” Ou Shaowen was a little disappointed.
“What? I’ve said it’s not your bucket list. I’m already spoiling you enough by letting you compose it.” Ou Renjin smiled and rubbed his head.
It was good for the kid to be cute and lovable like this all the time.
“By the way, I remember that there is another thing I want to do with you. Shall we record a couple show together?”
Ou Renjin tilted his head and thought for a while, “The “Newlywed Diary” kind?”
“That’s right.”
“Not…” Under Ou Shaowen’s accusing eyes, he still insisted on finishing the remaining two words, “too good.”
“Why?”
“We are a same-sex couple, and there might be some restrictions if we are on a star show.”
“Why?” Ou Shaowen raised the voice a little bit, expressing his doubts. Since arriving in this world, his relationship with Ou Renjin had not encountered any obstacles in terms of sexual orientation. Whether it was the people around him, teammates, fans, various interviews and various programs, everyone seemed to accept this fact very calmly. He didn’t quite understand what restrictions were there.
Ou Renjin didn’t explain to him from a value-oriented perspective or anything like that, and just said: “Many couples participate together, not only us. Sometimes men and women will be filmed separately, and then there will be a person who stays with the girls and listens to them talk about getting married and having children. Isn’t it troublesome?”
After Ou Shaowen heard it, he nodded slightly, “Oh, right.” After a while, he became excited again, “Then we can record our own vlog and upload it on Weibo. That will be okay, right?”
“Yes, it can be done.“ Ou Renjin didn’t know why he was so insistent on wanting to show his love, “But you’re an idol. Too much emphasis on the cp romance, and some fans might be unhappy.”
“I don’t know them, I don’t care if they are happy or not.”
Ou Renjin shook his head pretentiously, “So ruthless.”
This person was a bit contradictory. He obviously cared about the gifts of fans and was very willing to give back the enthusiasm given by fans; but then he could do something he wanted to do and completely disregard the mood of his fans.
“I also want to go to the couple’s movie theatre to watch a movie.” Ou Shaowen thought about his wishes, “I want to see the sea. I have never seen the sunrise by the sea. I have only seen it in a movie. The picture is really beautiful.
“I also want to wear a couple’s outfit with you, and I want to go to the supermarket with you.
“Also, I want to make love with you.”
After saying this, Ou Shaowen stopped, with expectation in his eyes, waiting for his consent.
Ou Renjin, immersed in the direct and bold words he had just said, choked for a moment, “Who taught you this?”
“Movies, books, certain conversations with other people.” Ou Shaowen frowned, a little too eager, “Don’t worry about that, just say if it’s okay. This is the first draft of the bucket list. Have you finished reviewing it? So… is it okay?”
Ou Renjin looked at him quietly for a while with some headache, “Before, when every ex of mine mentioned this topic, I would answer them, ‘Actually, I am a very conservative person, and I would prefer to walk into the marriage hall with the other half first, and then naturally go to that step, but in fact…”
Before he could finish speaking, Ou Shaowen interrupted him excitedly, “We can get married too, I want to marry you too.”
Ou Renjin paused and smiled self-deprecatingly, “Better not, break-ups are fine, having an ex-boyfriend is fine, but the reputation of being divorced or a widow or something would be too bad, right?”
“I don’t think it’s bad.” Ou Shaowen suddenly felt that this was what he wanted to do the most, “I can forget about all the previous wishes, let’s just get married, okay?”
“Not good.” Ou Renjin still refused him, “I can make my own wish list, right? I don’t want to marry you.”
As a person without a future, if he could stop thinking about tomorrow and focus on the present, and love the person he wanted to love, it was already the result of his calm acceptance of fate.
However, there was always a need to think about those who would keep on living. He didn’t want Ou Shaowen to go for the infatuated persona of never forgetting the deceased lover in the entertainment industry in the future.
“We really can’t? I don’t mind what others say about me, I don’t mind if my reputation is good or bad, I just want to marry you.” Ou Shaowen’s obsession at this moment was like never before.
“Okay, don’t be capricious, everything else is promised to you, fine?” Ou Renjin pulled his arm, motioned to him to lean down and said softly in his ear, “Including the last wish just now, I will also fulfil it for you.”
Ou Shaowen never wanted much and was easily satisfied. Ou Renjin originally thought that if he said this, Ou Shaowen would forget about the topic of marriage and go happily to prepare to fulfil those other wishes with him. However, Ou Shaowen still lowered his head and repeated again in a very small voice:
“Really can’t marry me?”
Ou Renjin also looked serious, and confirmed, “I really can’t.”
“Okay then.”
Ou Renjin didn’t know that while he worried about whether Ou Shaowen would be able to let him go after his death, Ou Shaowen worried that Ou Renjin would forget him too soon.
That didn’t mean he doubted Ou Renjin’s feelings for him now, he could be sure how much Ou Renjin cared for him, and he had always cared only for the present. But if he had to imagine the future…
He would wonder when Ou Renjin’s sixth boyfriend would appear.