Volume 8, Chapter 1: Heart-Pounding Nagisa Paradise by Jinnai Shinobu Part 1-7

This chapter is updated by wuxiaworld.eu

Part 1

It was November.

The weekend had finally come, but I couldn’t sleep in until noon today.

“Nnn…”

Something seemed intensely off in my futon.

I felt a smooth, squirming sensation of skin. I detected a slightly sweet aroma resembling old incense more than the chemical floral smells of the shampoos and conditioners my classmates used. As soon as I felt someone else’s body heat below the blanket, my sleepy mind rapidly focused itself as I lay on my side.

“Wait! Not again, you Good-for-Nothing Zashiki Warashi! Why do you have to sneak into people’s futons!?”

I mean, I would love to grope her tits if I could and I’d bow down to get a chance to see her naked, but there was more to it than that! I needed to prepare myself mentally!! This kind of surprise attack was bad for my heart!!

I felt blood instantly gathering in my head and that surge of heat moved my hand below the blanket. I was blindly searching for her slender shoulder to throw her out, but…

“Ow! What the hell!?”

I felt a sharp pain like I had touched the point of a giant pair of sewing scissors, so I quickly pulled my hand back.

Then a chill ran down my spine.

Eh? What? Scissors? In other words…a blade? She’s definitely never brought something like that into the futon before. No…no, wait. Is this really that Zashiki Warashi? When it comes to blades, I can’t help but think of that member of the world’s top three yandere! Don’t tell me this is that crazed childhood friend Nagisa-chan!! Please, please don’t tell me she’s had a relapse!

“Wait, wait. If the Nagisa is within twenty centimeters of me, I’m dead three times over!”

I frantically pulled back the blanket. It felt like belatedly realizing I’d gone to sleep holding a hornet’s nest in my arms.

But I was wrong.

Someone had been nestled up against me with their head right next to my chest, but it wasn’t that Indoor Youkai in the red yukata or the childhood friend from hell who was rumored to know 34,000 methods of killing.

“Ah.”

“Nnn… Mumble, mumble… Fwah, what is it, papa?”

“Aoandon!?”

The girl wore a white kimono and had a single knife-like horn splitting through her glossy black hair as it grew from her forehead. She looked like a lovely and pure girl (but with a decent chest), but she was actually an artificial Youkai created by absorbing one hundred ghost stories. She was also a literal evil Oni who had plotted to overthrow Japan and had nearly destroyed Hyakki Yakou, the most powerful occult organization.

This made me realize the sweet aroma was not the Good-for-Nothing Youkai’s scent and my body heat only shifted up a gear. I wasn’t able to cool down through my usual routine!

“What are you doing!? Why are you here!?”

“Well, I am a collection of the questions and answers of a few people, including you. That makes us something like father and daughter. It would be too boring to just call us creator and creation, don’t you think? So what’s this? Are you saying a baby of only a few months isn’t allowed to sleep in her parent’s arms?”

Ugh…

It was true her motivation had mostly been that of a monster baby that wanted to speak of the world without knowing the first thing about the world and wanted to answer people’s cries without knowing the first thing about people. And we did carry some responsibility for creating her and then abandoning her in the world at large.

The Aoandon giggled while curled up on the futon with a body far too developed for a high school boy to be calling his daughter.

“I know exactly what I can say to keep you from pushing me away.”

“What?”

“I can’t directly cause any destruction due to the mental stopper inside me. Just like you would feel illogical hesitation toward crushing a spoiled kitten below your foot. But I can use my power indirectly. For example, if I were to arrange it in the form of an unforeseen accident.”

She traced her slender index finger along my chest more like a lover than a daughter.

Wait. What is this rusty iron smell I hadn’t noticed before?

“I really couldn’t help it☆ I have this knife-like horn on my head after all. When I rubbed up against you like a loving child, it happened to tear your chest to shreds, but that was a complete accident. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Waaahh!!”

I screamed when I looked down.

Wh-what is this? I’m bleeding way more than that shaving disaster when I tried to act cool using that large razor one-handed!

The Aoandon laughed at my panic.

She’s hopeless. She might not be able to crush a kitten underfoot anymore, but that doesn’t mean we’ve mended our differences. She’s just hiding her cruelty! It didn’t go away!!

Frightened by this legit deadly Youkai, I tried to move away, but I ran into someone lying on my other side.

Is it the Zashiki Warashi this time!?

However, the skin felt like dried branches and I detected a faint aged smell.

No, wait. Don’t tell me… Wait!!

The newcomer then spoke behind me.

“Mumble, mumble… Nnn…boy…”

“Noooo!! I don’t want you showing up as the punch line, old man!!!!!”

On one side was the symbol of the calamity that arrived at the end of the Hyakumonogatari. On the other was the Aburatori, a symbol of untraditional fear who was even worse than the Aoandon when it came to his specialty of killing children.

As usual, the Intellectual Village was in top form first thing in the morning.

Part 2

…Ow, ow.

The Aoandon had really done a number on me that morning.

My chest was a bit bloody, but it wasn’t as bad as it looked. It would probably be fine without any kind of treatment, so I dragged my stinging body to the changing room/washroom to wash my face.

I started by scooping up cold water in my hands and slapping my cheeks. Then I mixed in some hot water for warm water, lathered up some face cream, and rubbed it into my face with circular motions. While it was refreshing, it stung my eyelids. It may not have been a good match for my skin, but I at least had to use up the tube.

After washing off the foam with the warm water, I looked up to see the Zashiki Warashi in a red yukata reflected in the mirror.

She was holding a first aid kit.

“Hm? What is it, Good-for-Nothing Youkai?”

“That’s my line.”

She sounded exasperated as she set the first aid kit down on the washing machine and opened it.

“Where did you get those cuts this early in the morning? Anyway, let me see them. You can’t just ignore them.”

O-okay.

I ended up letting her do as she wished. It may have looked bad, but it was really only a thin layer of skin that was cut. It was no more than a cut from a razor when shaving, so I’d been planning to ignore it. Was this a case where the blood concerned the others more than the injured person?

“Hmm.”

The Zashiki Warashi reached a slender finger toward my chest.

Inside the pajama top torn apart by the Aoandon, she traced her finger along my unharmed skin to wipe away the blood that had seeped down.

“It isn’t very deep. Some disinfectant and a bandage should be enough.”

“Hey, Indoor Youkai, this is kind of embarrassing.”

“Quiet. I need to take off your shirt to wrap a bandage around you, so raise your hands. C’mon, up with those hands.”

She was acting like she was helping a little kid change clothes.

The disinfectant stung a little, but I personally found the bandage more difficult. Specifically, it tickled! It felt like having a cheap fluffy sweater rubbing directly against my chest!! It wasn’t just bittersweet!!

After wrapping the bandage around my chest, the Zashiki Warashi fixed the end of the bandage in place with a small metal clip.

“There. All done.”

“You suddenly start acting like a big sister sometimes, you know that?”

My casual comment elicited a twitch from the shoulders in front of me.

…Oh?

“What’s this? Do you not like being called ‘indoor’ or ‘good-for-nothing’? Would you prefer I called you ‘Nee-chan’? How was I supposed to know if you never told me?”

“I-I have no idea what you’re talking about…”

“It doesn’t matter to me what I call you. Peh heh heh. Nee-chaaan.”

I never would have done this a month before, but I had worked out some things during the Aoandon incident. The trip to ten years in the past probably played the biggest role. The unpleasant reluctance toward this kind of thing had vanished.

The Zashiki Warashi was frozen in place close enough to feel her warm breath on my chest wound and her black-haired head was trembling a little.

“I-I can’t stand this! I know you’ve been horribly tainted since back then, but I can’t deny that hearing you call me Nee-chan is shaking my heart!!”

“Don’t act so innocent after manipulating me into doing things for you so often. And while I’m fine calling you Nee-chan, don’t start thinking you’re my superior or anything.”

“What?”

“There! Right there!! That rising tone at the end there!! You’re definitely looking down on me!! But I know I outrank you when it comes to human things like education, athletics, and sociability!”

“Shinobu.” She shook her head in utter exasperation. “I know the perfect way to see just who is superior to whom. Try patting my head and calling me a good girl.”

“…”

Pat, pat.

Good girl, good girl.

“…Huh? What’s going on? I feel faint…and a little ill…”

“See? It’s hopelessly out of place, isn’t it? This proves I’m your superior. Your very soul is rejecting the idea of looking down on me.”

Nhh!

I wasn’t going to let her get the last laugh here. I would never let her quit while she was ahead(?). I would at least end this in a draw(???)!!

“Shinobu, how long do you plan to keep rubbing my hea-…kyah!?”

I slid my palm down her silky hair, moving it from the top of her head to the back. I then pulled forward to hold her head in my arm, placing her forehead right on my bandaged chest.

Her palms were still placed gently on my chest and she seemed oddly silent.

I pressed my nose against the top of her head.

Oh? This Good-for-Nothing Youkai smells pretty good.

“I think I like this better than rubbing your head. Hmm, but it’s not as fun since it puts us on equal footing.”

“……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………”

“Hm? Zashiki Warashi-san? Onyah!?”

“!?”

She must not have liked that I had noticed how she briefly froze up because her shoulders gave a large start.

When she looked up at me from my arms, I played dumb.

“What’s the matter, young lady? Having trouble hiding your surprise at how manly you’re finding the boy you’ve always treated like a little brother?”

“Wh-where did this dark-hearted Shinobu come from!? Where did I go wrong raising you!?”

Probably the part where you bathed with me and slept next to me every night. It turned me into something of a gourmet.

Also, mwa ha ha!! I have no idea where the line between winner and loser is anymore, but I’m definitely on top here! I’m king of the hill!! Or at least, you don’t get to quit while you’re ahead this time!!

But…

“…No fair.”

I heard a quiet voice that sounded like an icy wind blowing in from the depths of hell.

I looked over to find the Yuki Onna poking half her head out from the changing room door and glaring at me in yandere mode.

“What’s so great about treating wounds? I can do that too. Did you know flash freezing can stop bleeding, prevent cell death, and cut off the pain signals in the nerves? In other words, I can do it better. Now, let’s try it out. Come over here and pat my head too.”

“Wait! That method sounds like it would destroy the cells in the freezing/thawing process and it’s probably a really bad idea right on top of the heart like this. I’m pretty sure I’ll die!! And when did that Zashiki Warashi escape my arm!? Wait! Don’t leave me behind, Nee-chaaaan!!”

After that last word, the sexy Youkai’s shoulders twitched and she sighed.

She was already well on her way toward slipping out the changing room’s small window, but she made a change of plans and clung to my back for some reason.

It was like a Nininbaori or ventriloquism show. I felt something soft squishing against my back, but it didn’t seem the best time to make a joke.

She then whispered in my ear as quietly as she could manage.

“First, grab the Yuki Onna’s slender shoulders in your hands and move her to the wall.”

“?”

I ended up doing as I was told.

“Eh heh heh. I can easily freeze the injury with temperatures of eighty below ze-…hyahn!?”

“Place your hand on the wall next to her head. Now look her in the eye as if leaning over her. Make your presence known and don’t take no for an answer!”

“Wha-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wha-wh-wh-wh-wha-…”

“Use your other hand to gently grab her chin between your thumb and forefinger. Yes, and pull it up!”

“…!!”

“Finish it off by pressing your forehead against hers!”

“…!!!???”

“Finally, whisper this…”

“…Don’t cause me too much trouble, Yuki Onna. Got that?”

“K-…”

The Yuki Onna’s eyes were spinning and her entire body looked red.

“Kyuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun…”

She slid down as if her hips had given out. She seemed to have passed out and her flat-chested body had melted a fair bit.

Wait. Eh?

What did I just do???

“What was that!? I’m disgusted with myself! I want to be the comedian type of popular, so this isn’t who I am! Was that the Wall-Don, Floor-don, Ceiling-Don, or whatever it’s called from shoujo manga!? That cliché would never work in real life! So it’s even more baffling that it just worked here!”

“Heh. Clichés can be powerful if you stick with them and don’t chicken out. They’re clichés for a reason, after all. It’s just that going for it without slamming on the brakes is incredibly hard.”

The Zashiki Warashi poked her head out from behind me with a triumphant look on her face.

Hmm. How should I put this?

“So is that your fantasy? Don’t tell me this all-out perfect older sister type writhes around in the bath imagining she’s a perfectly-proportioned starry-eyed shoujo manga girl with tons of eyelashes.”

“Bfh!? L-let’s not start making ridiculous accusations, Shinobu!!”

Part 3

The thatch-roof house had grown quite lively.

The Zashiki Warashi in a red yukata had always lived there, but quite a few newcomers had been added: the flat Yuki Onna, the Nekomata who had wandered on in, the Western Succubus, the Furutsubaki (Small) who had been brought here during the Australia incident, the Aoandon from Zenmetsu Village, the deadly Aburatori who had been transformed into a Kaeshigami, and Marguerite Steinhols, the witch whose soul had been imprisoned by Archdemon Tselika.

My Youkai-loving mom had added even more with an Azukiarai, a Keseran-Pasaran, and the Furutsubaki (Large), so there were quite a few of them.

That could of course be a problem, so…

“Hey, Zashiki Warashi.”

“What is it?”

“And the rest of you too. Over here, everyone!”

After eating breakfast, I gathered the house’s problem children in the Buddhist altar room. A human like Marguerite was casually mixed into this occult category, but…

Wait. Is that okay? Her visa has to have expired, so wouldn’t she count as an illegal alien?

I prayed that the great Hyakki Yakou had done something about that and then got down to business.

“You all know about my uncle, right? His name is Uchimaku Hayabusa and he works in Tokyo as a police detective.”

“Oh, the one who left this peaceful rural village to risk his life in the big city because he wanted to meet some youthful middle school girls? That kind of aggressive approach isn’t bad.”

I noticed one hell of a misunderstanding in there, but we would be here all day if I bothered correcting every little thing.

“He called to say he’s coming here for a job today or tomorrow and he wants to stay here instead of at an inn. However, Youkai really seem to dislike him and I don’t think he knows the house he grew up in is full of deadly Youkai. …I know different Youkai have different traits and traditions, but don’t kill my uncle. Can you promise me that?”

The Furutsubaki duo both nodded, but they accepted so readily I had trouble believing them. I decided to hammer this one home.

“Repeat after me! I will not attack Shinobu’s uncle.”

“I will not attack Shinobu’s uncle.”

“I will not attack Shinobu’s uncle.”

“I will not attack Shinobu’s uncle.”

“Good! Now, I will not eat Shinobu’s uncle.”

“I will not eat Shinobu’s uncle… Sigh.”

“I will not eat Shinobu’s uncle… Sigh.”

“I will not eat Shinobu’s uncle… Sigh.”

“I’m a little worried by that disappointed sigh, but this should just about-…hey, Zashiki Warashi! Why are you already putting together a rubber gun out of chopsticks and a rubber band!? And isn’t that the one I designed that has enough force to crush a kiwi!? Didn’t we swear to seal that one away forever!?”

The Zashiki Warashi in a red yukata remained seated in a beautiful Japanese seiza position, placed a hand on her cheek, and elegantly tilted her head.

“Yes, I wonder why. I have no real interest in Hayabusa’s visit, but I still feel an urge inside me to prepare for an attack.”

“Now I’m worried!!”

“If you’re done, I’ll be at the kotatsu.” (Nekomata)

“It’s November. That’s winter. That’s my season!! Pant, pant. I sense a first snow coming earlier than usual. Shiver. Please come trample all over my virgin snow!!!!!!” (Yuki Onna)

“Ahh, my shoulders are stiff now. Okay, Marguerite, let’s head back into the attic to continue our secret ritual. Mwa ha ha. Yes, a ritual between witch and demon that needs to be kept hidden!!” (Succubus)

Marguerite had tried to get the Nekomata to chase a yukata sash, but gave up and made it into a corset. She and the others scattered in every direction, but I was afraid letting this slide would create some great turning point in my uncle’s life.

But unfortunately, I already had plans.

“Oh, honestly! Aburatori, you take care of the rest. Don’t let them gang up on my uncle. You have the power of a weaker god, so you can restrain them, right!?”

“I’m the guardian deity of children, you know?”

“Don’t look so puzzled, old man! You don’t even need any tricky logic! My uncle was a kid once! Isn’t that enough!?”

Everyone was moving noisily around, but I had to prepare to leave.

An Intellectual Village was a high-tech rural area intentionally setup to create ultra-high quality brand-name crops, but that could sometimes be inconvenient. For example, shopping was entirely reliant on the internet and the train only ran five times a day.

Heading to the next town over to go shopping was a major event. In all seriousness, missing the train would throw off all of your plans for the day. It was a little bit cold even for November, so I put a white jacket on over my shirt.

“I’ll be going now. …Dammit. How many times have I had to get a new cellphone this year alone?”

“Yes, and to think the ugly model you and probably no else uses would have trouble with the battery overheating. Hee hee.”

“I don’t know how many times I’ve had to ask this question this year alone, but are you really a Zashiki Warashi?”

Part 4

Noukotsu Village was surrounded by mountains on all sides, but there was another town past those mountains. I believe it was called Bozen City. I normally thought of it as a delivery base for online shopping, but it was fairly well developed and quite convenient if you ignored the infrequency of the trains. Of course, it was located at the base of a mountain, so it felt more cramped than a large city built on a plain or next to a bay. Still, it felt enough like a city to someone who had grown up in a rural village.

I walked past a sign saying not to smoke on the streets.

The Intellectual Village had a something of a village society going on, while rumors were only temporary… Okay, okay. I’ll admit it. It wasn’t easy to have a love life when a single mistake could lead to rumors spreading throughout the entire village! And the timing just wasn’t right for a school romance! So until the heat died down, trying to hit on some girls in this city seemed like the better bet!! Trading in this recalled phone was my main reason to be here, but they tended to hire good-looking girls at those shops!!

But as if to drive a wedge into my plans, a damp voice reached me from directly behind.

“Eh heh heh. What are you doing here, Shinobu-chan? Are you lost?”

“…!!!???”

What I heard was enough for me to have trouble breathing. I turned around with my mouth flapping like a goldfish’s.

Soft, fluffy chestnut hair, slender shoulders, and white skin. The chest was a bit of a disappointment, but I couldn’t get enough of the line from her long, soft legs to her butt. She excelled at housework, she was smart, and most importantly, she was devoted to her man! …But it was all ruined by the heavy look in her eyes. Now, who did I just describe?

“N-N-N-N-N-N-N-Nagisa-san!?”

“Good morning, Shinobu-chan. It’s getting chilly these days, but you didn’t catch cold, did you? How about I heat up your hands with my breath?”

Nagisa smiled at me with eyes that looked even heavier than the leaden skies which seemed on the verge of snow. Instead of her school uniform, she was wearing a white cardigan over a knit dress. She wore the kind of hat that had to be pinned to the head. The cat knee socks were transparent like stockings and she had a cat tail accessory clipped to the back of her waist. Altogether, it was a kitty nurse outfit! But the Shinobu Gauge hidden in my chest didn’t react at all to her coquettish look. I’d heard that a guy’s meter was given a full boost from his survival instincts in extreme situations, but did this mean that was an old wives tale?

Still, this was odd.

It was the weekend, but romance-obsessed Nagisa-chan wasn’t with her boyfriend Akechi-kun. Even if they hadn’t made any plans, I would have expected her to spend all day hiding below her boyfriend’s floor or inside his wall.

I felt like a small doubt was leading to a horrific answer. It felt like the world I knew could be turned on its head.

I was afraid to learn the answer, but I would only be crushed by doubt if I didn’t know.

I hesitantly asked.

“U-um, Nagisa-san? Are you meeting Akechi somewhere?”

She did not hesitate to answer me with a smile.

“We broke up.”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………Oh.

“Vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!???”

“Wait, Shinobu-chan… Why are you tearfully running off in a random direction? Eh heh heh. Are you playing hard to get?”

My thoughts had just about blanked out completely, so the next thing I knew, Nagisa held my wrist in a vise-like grip.

But of course, this was no time to be grimacing in pain.

After all… After all, after all, after all!!

I hadn’t known she had broken up with Akechi. That meant one of the world’s three greatest yandere was free. I hadn’t known that. This was very, very, very bad. She placed all seven billion people on this planet into one of four categories: Enemy, ally, not interested, and extreme love. I’d managed to get by until now with Akechi filling the “extreme love” slot, but if she was free and that slot was open, then any guy standing in front of her could end up filling it. While it was true she was a yandere, she was most dangerous when she was free. It was like super-sweet game of deadly musical chairs with an anti-tank mine in place of a cushion and I may have just sat right on top of that mine!!

“Shinobu-chan…”

She narrowed her eyes and slowly, slowly spoke to me with a sugary voice that sounded like a bottomless bog of sugar, honey, and cream.

There was a…what was that thing? Oh, right. There was a paraglider circling overhead, but it looked like a vulture circling a likely target to me.

“After we broke up, I dated a lot of different people, but not many of them lasted even a month. None of them could compare to my first love… So I’ve been thinking about some things.”

“It’s not good to get too fixated on one thing and think about it over and over! It’ll trigger Gestaltzerfall!!”

“I think I might have been chasing after your shadow in everyone I’ve dated since…”

“You’re imagining it!! In fact, you’ll say that to anyone, won’t you!? You’ll say all of your past mistakes were necessary to meet them! Just to be clear, you can’t erase your dating history by making up some grand ‘reason’ for it all!! You can’t force it all into a straight path to pretend that every single one is your first love!!”

“Eh heh heh. Hey, Shinobu-chan. Do you believe in the red string of fate? I think there really might be something that connects people who are meant to be together☆”

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! She’s not listening to anything I say! She’s locked onto me already!! M-m-m-m-m-m-m-my teeth are chattering!

“B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but what happened with Akechi? What went wrong!?”

“I don’t know, I don’t care, and I don’t see why I should even bother remembering what someone I don’t love looked like.”

Oh, no.

I suddenly pictured him chopped to pieces with a machete and boiled away in a metal drum. I couldn’t rule that out. I couldn’t rule out anything anymore! He could easily have been turned into something like a thick beef stew cooked for seven long hours by a French chef!!

I could only pray to the god in heaven and to athletic Akechi-kun’s escape skills.

I made it out alive in the past, so surely you can too, Akechi!

“But…but what happened!? The two of you were always so lovey-dovey and flirting!”

“…Do you really want to know?”

Her heavy eyes were accompanied by a thin smile on her lips.

“He was so cruel. I don’t remember what he looked like or which number boyfriend he was, but he was cruel. His handkerchief stunk, he got bed hair, he was sweaty, I made it very clear I’m on the left when we hold hands and he still got it wrong three times, he was more than 120 seconds late meeting me on five separate occasions, miso soup has to be made with a dried sardine stock yet I was forced to eat mud made from dried bonito and kombu and pretend I liked it, it took him more than a minute to return my emails when I only sent him 97 in a day and worked so, so hard to not send more than 100 in a day, and so on and so on.”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!”

Nagisa’s yandere illusion seemed to be wearing down my soul, so I cut her off with a scream.

You haven’t changed at all since back then! You’re as crazy as ever, Nagisa-chaaaaaan!!

Meanwhile, her eyes seemed to be spinning as she lost herself in those crazy memories.

“Sob, sob. Hey, Shinobu-chan. Where are you going today?”

“W-well. Ah ha ha ha ha. I have a lot of shopping to do and it’s going to take a real long time, so you should probably stick to your original plans.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll stick with you. Forever.”

Ah.

I recognized this situation. If I pressed the issue, she would adorably whisper into my ear: “Why won’t you listen to me? Maybe there’s something wrong with your ears. Not to worry, Shinobu-chan. I’ll clean them out. C’mon, lie down in my lap☆” Then she would ever-so-thoroughly clean out my ears down to the eardrum.

“…Shinobu-chan.”

She grabbed my hand, intertwined our fingers, embraced my arm, and leaned against me from the side. I sensed a gentle feminine scent, warmth, and softness. I could feel the warmth of her breath and the silkiness of her hair. But this was all her version of the pay-on-delivery scam. It was like finding an edible bird’s nest or shark fin on your front step and then being forced to pay the exorbitant price after the fact!

The old man smoking on a no-smoking bench and the kid going over to scold the man for smoking did not realize at all what an emergency this was. I was literally in a fight for my life here! This was the problem with beautiful girls. They just had to smile and everyone took their side!!

“Where are you going today?”

“The…”

Was I crying? Or had the dial spun all the way around to smiling?

I wasn’t sure as I forced out the words like squeezing out fresh cream.

“The cellphone…store.”

Part 5

The cellphone store took up the first floor of a multi-tenant building a bit away from the train station but still on the main road. The bright store was covered in windows and it looked more like a post office or bank lobby than an electronics store. However, the blinds were lowered, so I couldn’t see anything outside. There were a lot of sofas, but that must have been because the different processes left people with a lot of time to wait around. Perhaps to advertise the carrier, a large e-book reader was prepared in the magazine stand and the TV was playing a zombie movie streaming from the internet.

As I glanced through the new model pamphlets installed on the e-book reader, Nagisa spoke with her shoulder pressed up against mine.

“Look, Shinobu-chan. It’s a Kasha-chan strap.”

“What? Kasha???”

“It’s a collaboration with a local mascot. Oh, yeah. The winter festival is coming up soon, isn’t it? I hope we can go together this year☆”

The flat-screen was introducing a strap modeled after a black cat walking on two legs as it pulled an oxcart from the Heian period.

Hmm. What kind of Youkai was the Kasha again?

“#7: Nakisuna Okuri. I repeat, #7: Nakisuna Okuri. We are ready to serve you now, so please come to the counter.”

“Oh, it’s finally my turn. That’s me, that’s me.”

A young man with a beard stood up from the sofa. His bright orange down jacket and jeans were fine, but the knit cap and sunglasses made me wonder if someone would mistake him for a robber. It was a no-smoking lobby, but he pressed a cigarette butt into a portable ashtray modeled after that same Kasha-chan. The number was pretty low even taking into account that the store hadn’t been open long. Not many people were waiting, so it probably wouldn’t be long until my turn. Not that I could call this “clear sailing” when Nagisa was free and hanging around me!

“#8: Jinnai Shinobu. I repeat, #8: Jinnai Shinobu. We are ready to serve you now, so please come to the counter.”

“Eh heh heh. Good luck, Shinobu-chan.”

With that meaningless encouragement pushing me onward, I walked up to the horizontal line of counters.

Standing on the other side was what I guessed was a part-timer. The short girl had short hair with her bangs held in place by a hairpin. She wore a suit-like light green jacket and tight skirt with the carrier’s name printed in large letters like on a race queen. She wore the store’s uniform perfectly, but she also would have looked at home in my school’s hallways if she changed into a school uniform. Still, she would probably have fallen into the “upperclassman” category.

The nametag on her modest chest said she was Nozaki Haru.

“Um, what do you need?”

“Well, I don’t know all the details, but…y’know, there was an article on your website and they were talking about it on the news. The D512’s battery can overheat, right? Well, I happen to have that exact model.”

When I pulled my phone from my pocket and placed it on the counter, Nozaki-san began waving her hands back and forth. She seemed to have been given a script to follow, but she was having trouble remembering it.

Hmm. So she’s the small animal type.

Then an icy voice reached me from behind.

“Shinobu-chan…?”

O-oh, no! My careless adoration of this girl from a more heartwarming world has triggered Nagisa’s sensors! This employee is going to end up buried in the mountains!!

Nozaki-san apparently had poor danger senses despite being so nervous, so she didn’t notice Nagisa.

“Um, um, thank you very much. No, I mean… Understood! Now, will a replacement battery suffice?”

“What? I thought the website said you would give me a different model of similar specs free of charge.”

“Well, um, uh, we’ve changed our policy…no, I mean… We have updated our means of support for this issue. We have discovered we can provide support without replacing the entire phone. Transferring the data takes time, so this is less of a hassle for you, the customer.”

“Well, it doesn’t really matter to me,” I said without really thinking about it. “Oh, but will the new battery already be charged? Or do I need to charge it up once I get home?”

“What!? Um, um… E-excuse me! Can you wait just a moment!?”

“Eh? Well, if you don’t know, that’s fine too.”

“K-Kamimaki-san! Excuse me, but about this customer’s question!!”

Nozaki-san almost tearfully went to get some help from a male employee moving back and forth behind the counter.

D-does she just have a really strong sense of responsibility? I can’t get enough of watching her, but…yeah. I should keep that a secret.

This Kamimaki-san appeared to be college aged. His black hair was parted down the middle and he looked like a refreshing sort of person. I had to wonder if they hired these workers based on their looks. The male uniform didn’t seem all that great, though.

“Nozaki-san, you shouldn’t get so nervous in front of a customer. What they want from us is a sense of reassurance. While it isn’t an actual product, it’s still something we have to provide them. Okay?”

“O-okay. But about what this customer needs…”

I felt someone looking over from the next booth.

However, they weren’t looking at me. A sexier female employee was dealing with the neighboring customer. When she looked over, her body stiffened and her hands wandered through the air. It was inappropriate, but it was kind of cute seeing the older girl with thick lipstick looking so troubled.

“Hey, Kamimaki-san… Oh, geez. Not again.”

Was she having some trouble too? Being their advisor must have been tough.

However, the customer was not necessarily going to wait around. The guy in a knit cap and sunglasses leaned forward with his elbow on the counter.

“C’mon, you don’t have to get so irritated. If you’ve got to wait, then how about we have a quick chat, Akehara-chaaan? Is that earring a Near Elf? Do you tend to hang around the areas north of here?”

The employee’s earring covered more than just the earlobe. An extremely detailed metalwork “side” seemed to sharpen the overall silhouette of her ear. The bearded man grinned and toyed with it.

It looked like he was here for the employees too. But since he was showing off a complaint card while asking her private questions about her life, I had to wonder if he actually thought that was going to win her over.

The young woman’s long chestnut hair was tied back and her forced smile was a little stiff, but based on the timing, it may have had more to do with the cigarette smell coming from that Nakisuna guy’s mouth and down jacket. I’d heard that people sensitive to that kind of thing were really sensitive to it.

Things were strained between the employees and muddy between the employees and customers.

I stared into the distance while thinking about how bittersweet life could be, but the one in the most danger here was probably me since Nagisa had locked onto me! I couldn’t even imagine how the situation could get any worse!!

But I was readily proven wrong by what happened next.

A yellow dump truck that had to weigh more than ten tons crashed into the store, breaking through both the window and the blinds.

Part 6

It was more of a shockwave than a noise.

A horizontal downpour of glass and a far-too-large mass of metal passed by behind me. The neat line of sofas was knocked away, they crashed into the opposite wall, and some wiring must have been broken because the lights blinked unsteadily.

“Whoaaaaaa!? O-ow! What the hell!?”

The bearded man in a knit hat and sunglasses – Nakisuna-san was it? – shouted something, but he hadn’t actually been hit by the dump truck. One of the sofas seemed to have hit him in the waist. That didn’t matter, so I ignored him and looked around the messed-up store. Fortunately, I quickly spotted a familiar face.

“Are you okay, Shinobu-chan?”

“Are you, Nagisa? …Or rather, was anyone hit by that?”

“Eh heh heh. Shinobu-chan was worried about me…”

It was lucky there had been so few customers.

Those customers were all focused on the front of the dump truck that had crashed into the wall. We all hesitantly looked in that direction. …Was the driver okay? At the very least, the driver’s compartment hadn’t been crushed like an empty can.

The employees of course hadn’t been trained for something like this, so they had all frozen up.

Meanwhile, I heard a creaking noise.

The driver’s side door slowly opened and something fell out. At first I thought it was a trash bag, but it wasn’t. It was a human. It was a middle-aged man in a work uniform.

Or…was he really middle-aged? Something was wrong with his hair. It was really dry and nearly white. He also had muddy eyes and all of his skin had turned red or purple. Did he have internal bleeding? Was he hurt? From what I could see, his clothes weren’t stained red and his limbs weren’t bent at odd angles.

At first, no one moved to help him.

That may have been because no one was sure if he was a culprit or a victim.

But as time passed, the tense atmosphere relaxed and we gained more freedom of movement. The first one to be freed was that male customer named Nakisuna.

“The hell do you think you’re doing!?”

He held a hand on his back and angrily approached the driver who had slowly started standing up.

“Were you taught not to say you’re sorry even if you kill someone? Don’t even try to call yourself a victim after what you’ve done. Are you even listening? You should be bowing down and begging for forgiveness!!”

“W-wait, sir!?”

Once Nakisuna grabbed the driver’s collar, the male employee named Kamimaki frantically started climbing over the counter.

However, none of us could have predicted the rusty iron smell we detected a moment later.

With a raw sound, the middle-aged driver bit violently into Nakisuna’s wrist.

“Eh? Ah…?”

At first, the man in a knit hat and sunglasses simply looked confused.

The sound of someone chewing through chicken cartilage followed.

The pain and fear must have risen within him as if to remind him this was real.

“W-wai-you-wha-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!?”

He instinctually pulled his hand back, but was that the right decision or not?

Doing so threw the middle-aged driver off balance, causing him to fall on top of Nakisuna. It looked like an embrace between old friends reunited at the airport.

But a moment later, a deafening scream erupted from them.

The driver bit in and tore away a huge chunk of flesh from a point closer to the neck than the shoulder. Feathers from the down jacket floated through the air, but they were dyed red.

Nakisuna yelled and desperately struggled, but it was no use. He only managed to drop his wallet and Kasha-chan ashtray from his pocket.

“B-bfah!? Abhbhbhbh!! Bhbbhbh!! Y-y-you…you…bbbbhbhbhbhbbhbhbhbhbhbbhb!?”

He wasn’t even speaking the human language anymore.

But Nakisuna wasn’t the only one.

Screams and shouts came from all around. Someone fell to the ground, but the others rushed toward the exit without even reaching out to help.

“H-help me!? Please help me!? What is going on!?”

That voice of tears and snot came from Nozaki-san the part-timer who was shaking her pale head. Akehara-san, the older employee who had been across the counter from Nakisuna, was beating on the male employee’s back, but when the man didn’t do anything, she clicked her tongue, moved her slender and stocking-covered legs, and walked out front herself.

Only then did my thoughts finally recover from their human camera mode.

I was urged into action more because I didn’t want to feel the guilt of letting the man die than because I felt the need to save him. I worked with the well-proportioned female employee in pumps to grab the middle-aged driver’s arms, wrap an arm around his waist, and try to forcibly pull him off.

I frowned when I felt an unpleasant stickiness, but I quickly realized that was the least of my worries.

“Wait…what!? He won’t budge!!”

“You’re kidding, right? Hey, you! Get off him! I said get off him!!”

It felt like playing tug-of-war against a forklift or power shovel. I was pulling hard enough that I thought a blood vessel in my head would burst, but he wouldn’t move a millimeter.

In fact, I was pulled toward him.

He ignored our efforts and took a step forward.

“Wah!?”

“Kyah!!”

Akehara-san and I were swung around by the driver. Our legs gave out and we were dragged along the floor. Meanwhile, the driver leaned over Nakisuna who was lying face-up on the floor.

With a wet sound, the bloody smell grew stronger.

Nakisuna had been so noisy before, but now he was silent. His arms and legs were trembling unnaturally, but I doubted that was under his control.

Wait.

Isn’t this really, really bad!?

This time, I grabbed his dry hair instead of his body, but it came right out. It made me shudder how easily it pulled out.

“Why you…!!”

Still on the ground, I grabbed the notebook-sized e-book reader that had fallen nearby and hit the back of the driver’s head as he focused on moving his mouth. I heard a loud sound, but he didn’t react. I hit him again, this time with the corner instead of the flat surface, but he completely ignored me.

Wh-what is with this guy!?

A hit to the back of the head with the corner of a normal notebook would at least make your vision flash from the pain, and this was a harder and heavier piece of electronics!

“Shinobu-chan…”

That was when I heard a girl’s voice that sounded too gentle to belong in this scene.

“Hey, Shinobu-chan. I don’t know what’s going on, but should I help? It could be a joint effort powered by our love…just kidding.”

“If you think you can help, then do something!! What is this guy? Is he really human!? Are we sure he isn’t a Youkai that just really looks human!?”

It was possible I had overlooked the most basic concept here.

The bizarre sight of a human eating human flesh may have left my mind blank.

Otherwise, I never would have asked Nagisa of all people to help.

She held a shovel in her hands. It looked out of place in the cellphone store, so it may have been attached to the dump truck to help transfer dirt and gravel.

A moment later, I heard a dull sound.

She swung the shovel like a golf club and the heavy tip severed the driver’s neck.

My legs seemed to have turned to rubber.

She held the heavy shovel’s handle and spun it around like a baton. She skillfully controlled it even when moving her hands over her head or behind her back. It reminded me of a weapon in an online game I’d played. The weapon had looked like a cup on the end of a stick and had thrown a stone using centrifugal force. After building up power, it gave a roar.

The scene was so outlandish that it didn’t seem real. The man’s previous strength vanished, so Akehara-san and I tumbled backwards like the rope had broken in a game of tug-of-war. Then I heard a high-pitched scream reminiscent of shattering glass.

However, it was not in response to Nagisa decapitating someone.

Nor was it in response to the headless corpse falling on us.

“…Ah?”

We flipped the headless corpse off of us to see.

Even with the body cut away, the head continued to bite at Nakisuna’s neck.

The dull chomping and chewing sounds continued and signified that the teeth were now crunching through bone instead of flesh and blood. What was this thing? Now that I thought about it, there hadn’t been much blood. We hadn’t been soaked by a red fountain.

Finally, I heard a dull snapping sound.

After biting clean though Nakisuna’s flesh, the remaining head fell to the floor as if washed away by the red torrent of the living man. It rolled into a corner like a basketball, but I didn’t feel like checking to see if it was still moving.

“Wh-what the hell is this?”

Something right in front of my eyes had drowned out even Nagisa’s abnormality. It even overshadowed the fact that Nakisuna was lying utterly motionless on the floor.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. What the hell happened!?”

To distance myself from the situation, I had finally looked to the outside world beyond the completely shattered window. I was doing the same thing as the other customers who had already left.

And there I saw a colorful hell of reds and blacks.

To put it simply, none of those who had left were still around. To put it another way, that driver hadn’t been the only abnormal monster. Put those two together and you get this:

Someone was pinned down by multiple other people.

I could hear a sound much like someone biting through chicken cartilage with their back teeth.

Someone else was dragging around something soft while still alive.

There were no screams or yells.

Everyone was trying to get back inside, but the monsters grabbed at their arms or legs.

It was an orgy of violence filled with muddy eyes, red and purple skin, and pale white hair.

It covered the entire city. I doubted I could find a window that wasn’t broken. Cars had crashed into telephone poles and traffic lights and the screaming people inside were being dragged out by countless hands. The monsters weren’t all muscular macho men. The kid I had seen running around before and the old man who had been sitting on the bench were among them. Those normal people’s teeth weren’t exactly sharp, but that made them look all the more horrifying when bared.

I had no idea if anyone was inside it anymore but a costume of the local Kasha-chan mascot was torn and lying on the side of the road. The fact that even it was being trampled underfoot made me feel like I was viewing the demise of morality.

I didn’t have time to think about saving anyone or figuring out what to do.

It was already over, so I simply didn’t have time to think.

I could tell at a glance that I couldn’t save anyone by running out there.

And then countless eyes turned our way. The mouths and clothes of those emotionless figures were stained red. Akehara-san used both hands and leaned forward to shove aside the headless driver. Nozaki-san seemed to have been hiding somewhere until now, but she nervously showed up holding her shoes and a cloth pouch.

“K-Kamimaki-san, what should we do about locking the registers!?”

“What’s with that old lady’s pouch? …Don’t tell me it’s yours! And we need to lock this place up before worrying about the money! We can close the shutter to-…”

“Both of those can wait! We need to focus! This is no time to be worried about the business!!”

The argument between the nearby employees seemed so far away.

I subconsciously reached for my cellphone.

Only now did the obvious idea of calling the police come to mind.

But…

“Hey, let’s get out of here.”

My thoughts were cut off when someone grabbed my shoulder.

Kamimaki-san had ditched the more polite speech of a clerk to a customer.

“We can call the police afterwards!! They’ll rush in here and kill us while we’re waiting for the police to show up! The metal shutter isn’t as tough as it sounds. It’ll break pretty easily if a few dozen people try to break it down. We’re sitting ducks if we stay here! We need to get somewhere safe!!”

“But where would be safe!?”

My trembling fingers operated the phone as I shouted back at the man.

I dialed the simplest three-digit number, but something wasn’t right.

It wouldn’t connect. It wasn’t getting through at all!

“How should I know? But we’re screwed if we hole up in this tiny building. Luckily, we have the dump truck here. Don’t you think we’d be better off escaping outside the city!?”

I could almost feel common sense crumbling away inside my mind, but it was obvious staying here would lead to the same fate as those who had gone outside.

“Let’s go with that. Can you drive!?”

“It’s basically a giant stick shift, right? I think it’s worth a try when the alternative is giving up!”

With that comment, time seemed to start moving once more.

While the dump truck was big, it couldn’t hold very many people. Only three at the most. Nagisa and I would let the store employees take those spots. We would instead climb into the back of the truck, where the gravel and dirt would normally be carried.

“Nagisa!! That’s fine with you, right? If we don’t hurry up, they’ll start pouring in here! So hurry up and-…!!”

I trailed off because something rose from the floor next to me.

It was Nakisuna whose neck had been eaten into down to the bone.

“Wha-…eh?”

My mind went blank.

He got up only a few dozen centimeters away. It was hard to tell if his hair had changed color since his hair was dyed, but his eyes were muddy and his skin had darkened. His arms grabbed at my leg like a kid throwing a tantrum. If this was the same as before, then he was holding me with the same strength as a brown bear or grizzly bear. When I recalled how Nakisuna himself had been killed, intense rejection filled the back of my mind.

But that was when Nagisa’s shovel gave a roar.

The tip of the shovel stabbed into the seam where his neck bone was already visible. She placed her foot on the shovel and kicked him over. Then she placed her full weight on the heel pressing against the shovel.

With a dull snapping sound, the head rolled away like a ball.

Strength left the headless body and Nagisa shoved it away.

She then spoke to me, not looking any different from normal.

“Hurry up, Shinobu-chan.”

“…”

I realized just how insane, twisted, and wrong this all was.

But not because of how Nagisa was acting.

It was because this situation was making me glad to have her around.

Part 7 (3rd person)

As soon as the kotatsu was pulled out from the Jinnai house’s storage shed, it had become the Nekomata’s independent kingdom.

However, that Nekomata was now yawning grumpily and scratching her ear with her back paw a short distance from the kotatsu.

There was a simple reason: the Furutsubaki (Small) had holed up inside the kotatsu’s blanket.

When Shinobu’s Youkai-loving mother asked what was going on, the Furutsubaki (Small) had stuck just her head out and shouted at the top of her lungs with her cheeks puffed out.

“She ate my pudding!! It even had ‘Furutsubaki’ written on it in permanent ink!!”

“Hmm… But Furutsubaki could refer to two different Youkai in this house.”

“She did the same thing with the cookies, the chocolate, and the snow viewing popsicle!! She has to be getting it wrong on purpose. She always eats my stuff!!”

“Then why not write Furutsubaki (Small) next time?”

“And what is that small part referring to!? My height or my chest!? That’s an important distinction!!”

Shinobu’s mother was unfazed by the shrill complaints.

“You don’t have to worry about the pudding. I can make you some.”

“…You can make it?”

That must have touched at her heartstrings because Kotatsu Fortress Furutsubaki (Small) twitched in response.

“You can make pudding!? How!?”

“Heh heh heh. I grew up in a traditional Japanese restaurant, so I rebelled against my parents by learning how to make nothing but Western food.”

That said, the woman had only gained that Western bias after absorbing all the skills of a well established high-class restaurant in Kyoto, so she was clearly highly skilled. And after more or less eloping to marry into the Jinnai family, she had absorbed the skills of Shinobu’s grandmother as well.

“You can…you can make pudding?”

The Furutsubaki (Small)’s heart had had been shaken by this shocking truth, so she crawled a bit out from the kotatsu.

However, she soon came back to her senses.

“Ah!? No, no. I’m not mad because I can’t eat pudding. I’m mad because she stole my pudding! I won’t accept anything that doesn’t punish her!!”

“C’mon, that doesn’t really matter, does it?”

“It does! It really, really matters!!”

“C’mon, c’mon. Stay in that kotatsu and you’ll ruin your clothes. Do you really want that hair decoration to be all wrinkled once Shinobu gets back? Your kimono will be wrinkled too.”

“…”

The Furutsubaki (Small) finally fell silent and then crawled out from under the kotatsu.

However…

“This doesn’t mean I’m not angry! I’m not moving from this spot until she’s been punished!!”

“Yes, yes.”

It looked like the area around the kotatsu was going to remain her territory after all. If Shinobu, the legendary Furutsubaki Meister, had been there, he could have driven her to ecstasy by listing off 100 good points about each of those two Youkai who were nearly indistinguishable, but the Nekomata was sick of it all and decided to leave the room for a while.

The floorboards were too cold to curl up on the veranda in November, and there was another commotion out in the yard anyway.

The Yuki Onna was hopping up and own with her hands in the air.

“It’s here. My season is finally here!! The first snow… My virgin snow!! Heh…eh heh heh…eh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh!!”

“Seriously? That explains why it’s been so cold today. Snow is such a pain when it accumulates…”

The Nekomata was really annoyed now, but the Yuki Onna was not listening.

“Keh heh heh. Yes, yes. I can feel my power growing… This is what it means to be a Yuki Onna. The summer heat was robbing me of half my charm before, but look at me now, Jinnai Shinobu! This is a true Yuki Onna!!”

“She’s at full power? Is she going to turn into a fully grown woman or something?”

The Yuki Onna’s small body began to glow and the glow soon grew to an explosion of light. A flash of light as bright as the sun lasted a few seconds.

And afterwards…

“…Wait.”

“Ahh…”

The Yuki Onna was now even younger.

If Jinnai Shinobu had seen it, he probably would have covered his face with his hands.

The sleeves of her kimono had also changed to create snowflake cut-outs.

The Zashiki Warashi had come out after hearing the commotion, and she narrowed her eyes while giving her opinion.

“Which way are you trying to go?”

“Come to think of it, you had something of a chest during the summer, didn’t you? Don’t tell me the more power you get from the weather, the smaller you get.”

“But didn’t she get smaller when the hot bathwater weakened her? She melted a little.”

“So she shrinks when it’s hot and she shrinks when it’s cold? I can already imagine that lustful kid holding his head in his hands.”

The Yuki Onna’s white clothing was a symbol of virginity, so it was not altogether wrong for her to grow more virginal the more her power grew.

There were also stories of travelers inviting the Yuki Onna to take a hot bath, not knowing what she was, and then finding an icicle floating in the tub.

In other words, she could easily grow smaller whichever direction she went.

“Well, if she’s happy, I guess that’s all that matters.”

“It looks like a kind of curse to me.”

But as the other two Youkai were speaking…

“…?”

The Zashiki Warashi’s gaze jumped upwards.

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