Philomel returned to her room and sat in front of the desk, determined to write a letter to Nassar.
It seemed that knowing about the breakup through her contact would be better than the Emperorâs decree.
Using the communication stone to convey the message felt a bit distant.
However, Nassarâs handling of the situation was much faster than Philomel had expected.
While Philomel was contemplating how to write the letter, Nassar arrived at the Southern residence.
âWelcome.â
Philomel greeted Nassar with discomfort.
Philomel made sure that she and Nassar would be alone for their conversation, so naturally, Le Guin couldnât come, and Jeremiah was left behind as well.
The atmosphere was far from being a formal reception.
Nassarâs eyes were tranquil, as if sinking into an unfathomable depth.
A voice devoid of strength came out.
âSo, it has come to this in the end.â
ââŠNassar.â
âI anticipated it would turn out this way. I should have endured that moment.â
The energy and vitality that had filled him the previous night were nowhere to be found now.
âThe Emperor simply commanded the breakup without any reason, but I know that it is not your will, Miss Philomel.â
Feeling sorry for it, Philomel spoke up.
âNassar⊠Iâm sorry.â
âPlease donât apologize. It only makes me more miserable.â
âI understand.â
Yet, Philomel had offered an apology solely to ease her own heart.
Nassar, whose rough lips trembled, finally uttered a single word.
âDo you dislike me?â
âNo, I donât.â
âThen why do you want to break up?â
âDoes it really matter now?â
Philomel asked quietly.
She knew that bringing it up would only cause more pain to both of them.
âIt does matter! Could it be because of Princess Ellencia? You strangely didnât seem concerned about the relationship between her and me. If thatâs the reasonâŠâ
He seemed to hope that Philomel would say that the reason for the breakup was because of Ellencia.
Philomel took a deep breath.
He finally forced those words out of his mouth.
âI donât love you.â
Nassarâs pupils dilated, and his mouth fell open at Philomelâs words.
A profound shock swept over him.
With a face full of astonishment, he spoke in a trembling voice.
âAh, I knew it. I couldnât have not known. Otherwise, you wouldnât have kept pushing me away all this time.â
âMe?â
âYes. From a certain moment in our childhood up until now, whenever I tried to approach you, you always smiled and drew a line.â
Was that so? She had only wanted to alleviate the burden he carried as her fiance and as the little Duke⊠No, thatâs just an excuse.
While there may not have been a complete absence of reasons, fundamentally she had erected a wall between them. Because he was destined to be Ellenciaâs lover.
Yes, it was undoubtedly Ellenciaâs presence, soon to be revealed in the book, that marked the beginning.
Until then, young Philomel had liked Nassar very much.
Even after realizing that he didnât love her, she would have continued to like him.
But through that book, she had learned about Nassarâs future, where he would wholeheartedly love Ellencia.
She had come to know that he was capable of loving someone so deeply.
âIf only I didnât know, I would have thought he was someone who couldnât love deeply while being affectionate.â
But now, Nassar loves Philomel.
However, tragically, Ellencia was no longer the issue. The issue was that Philomelâs feelings for Nassar had vanished.
Philomel did not love Nassar anymore.
That was the beginning and the end of the problem.
Nassar spoke with a pained expression on his face.
âI wanted to deny it. I desperately believed that your current heartless appearance was just a facade because you used to like me.â
So thatâs how it was. She had never realized.
Philomel listened quietly to his words.
âAfter you disappeared and came back, it seemed like you were closer to me than before, and I had hope, just in case, just in case.â
He continued to blame himself.
âIn truth, it took me a long time to fully realize my feelings. I must be such a fool, right?â
He didnât seem like a fool at all.
It was just regrettable. If only he had realized and expressed his emotions even a little earlier, maybe things would have been different.
There was a slight possibility.
How could the human heart be sliced like a knife?
The young Philomelâs affection for Nassar didnât disappear in an instant. It gradually eroded from within the mask.
âIf that were the caseâŠâ
But it was a meaningless assumption.
Philomel sincerely wished that he wouldnât suffer.
âNassar, stop now. Donât belittle yourself. You are a good person enough.â
âWhatâs the use of that if you donât love me!â
His own voice was loud, and Nassar himself was the most surprised.
âI-Iâm sorry. I lost my mind for a moment and was rudeâŠâ
âItâs okay.â
Philomel raised her sunken gaze to look at him. Nassar hadnât properly looked at Philomel.
After a moment, his intense gaze turned back to Philomel.
âCanât it be me after all?â
His eyes welled up with moisture.
âYou said you donât dislike me, right? Isnât that the case?â
Philomel knew that it would be a hurtful remark, but she had no choice but to express her sincere feelings.
âI donât dislike you. I like you, as a friend.â
ââŠThen please donât break off the engagement.â
âWhat?â
Philomelâs eyes widened in surprise at the unexpected words.
âI will undoubtedly be of help to Miss Philomel. Though it may sound arrogant, I excel in academics and martial arts, and I can even cookâŠ?â
âWhether it helps the engagement or not, why does it matter?â
âThen how can I stay by your side?â
âNassar, you need to find someone who loves Nassar.â
Reluctantly, tears rolled down Nassarâs cheeks.
âBut⊠the person I love is you.â
Philomel couldnât say anything.
There was no word that could be said for the sake of Nassar.
After enough time for the tears to dry up, Nassar spoke.
âIf, by any chance, there is someone you have in your heart?â
Not wanting to lie, Philomel spoke as it was.
âNo. There isnât.â
âThen please allow me to like you a little more.â
âNassar!â
âYou said you feel something like friendship towards me, so I want to be by your side as a friend, at least.â
âBut you canât.â
âDidnât Miss Philomel once tell me to do what I truly desire?â
Philomel was speechless.
Eustis, and now Nassar, why do they remember the past so well?
ââŠIt will only cause suffering for Nassar.â
âItâs alright.â
Nassar smiled with traces of tears on his face.
âIf Iâm not a burden to you, then I should endure the rest.â
Thatâs how Nassar left.
Philomel watched him leave the Palace through the window.
As if he felt her gaze, he looked up at the window where Philomel was.
But their gazes couldnât meet.
Le Guin, leaning his arm against the window, spoke.
âThat jerk? Should I get rid of him for you?â
Philomel realized that Le Guin used magic to block the view outside the window from her sight.
âNo, donât talk like that. Nassar is a good person.â
Nassar stood still in that spot for a while, staring at the window. Then he took heavy steps and moved away.
Philomel slumped into the armchair as if collapsing.
The light was too bright, so she covered her eyes with her arm.
Le Guin asked, âPhil, are you in pain?â But she only shook her head.
Jeremiah also seemed to sense her mood, but Philomel didnât want to do anything.
She couldnât do it. She couldnât completely reject Nassar.
If she had truly thought about him, she should have pushed him away until the end⊠but she accepted the person who said they would stay by her side halfheartedly.
Why did she do that?
Out of guilt? Because she didnât want to be seen as a bad person by Nassar?
Or maybe, because she thought that if he made an effort, a good future awaited them?